The Reliable Rubber Band

Yet another random assignment for my writing class.

Spoiler – it’s about… ***rubber bands!***:

such fun.


I’m searching for something. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know where I’ll find it.  I don’t even know how to find it.  I just don’t know. Sometimes I will unconsciously go to the junk drawer when I’m looking for anything at all.  I’m looking for a book that won’t even fit in the drawer, yet I still gravitate toward the drawer. I’m looking for my cat.  How would he even get in there?  Something inside the drawer is calling me to reevaluate and redefine my quest.  I am hesitant to open the drawer itself.  Is it worth it?  What if what I think I want or need isn’t even in there?  But I discard my hesitation and pull open the drawer – sometimes with ease, sometimes with a struggle, sometimes carefully, and sometimes in a hurry.

Inside, the drawer is a refuge.  It’s a treasure chest of haphazard miscellany.  It’s a delightfully unexpected estate sale bargain you happen upon randomly one late Sunday afternoon.  Despite all of these, there is one consistency.

I can always find a rubber band in there.

Sometimes the rubber band is buried beneath an assorted plethora of other small and seemingly helpful, yet ultimately insignificant objects.  Sometimes it’s caught in the corner and stubbornly refuses to even consider coming to my aid.  And sometimes it’s right on top – front and center and eager to spring to assistance.  I swear they’re inside stretching and shoving and jumping and rearranging themselves whenever the drawer is abandoned and shut up tight.

Sometimes the rubber band is new and springy, full of excited exuberance. Sometimes it’s old and brittle and reluctant to leave the comfortable sameness of the drawer. And most often, the rubber band is somewhere between these two extremes.  Thin, but resilient and durable.  Or thick and tough, but somewhat lacking in its supple elasticity.

Their appearance is rarely a direct reflection of their usefulness, but then appearances rarely are.  Big, thick rubber bands have their uses.  So do tiny, slender ones. And every combination in between has the potential to facilitate some sort of discovery or creative solution.  Despite their visible stains, or the fact that they have already been used tenfold, they endure in their obliging and practical support.  If I select the wrong one for the task at hand, they will quickly let me know. And there is always a backup rubber band – a patiently waiting friend ready to help me try again or look at my problem from a different perspective.

I don’t know how they get in there.  I can never distinctly remember putting a rubber band in the drawer.  They just appear.  They seem to know that I will need them someday.  I will need their versatile durability and their flexible strength. I will need their constancy and keen enthusiasm.  I will need a rubber band.

You never know when you’ll need them, but they’re always there.  Watching and waiting- inconspicuous in the dark, yet consistently inspiring in their own, faithful and uncomplaining way.

It’s like Where’s Waldo, but for rubber bands!

Music Monday: Not Perfect

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “Not Perfect” by Tim Minchin.

Listen to the song here:

Lyrics:

“This is my earth
And I live in it
It’s one third dirt and two thirds water
And it rotates and revolves through space
At rather an impressive pace
And never even messes up my hair.
And here’s the really weird thing
The force created by its spin
Is the force that stops the chaos flooding in.
This is my earth and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect…

This is my country
And I live in it.
It’s pretty big and nice to walk on.
And the bloke who runs my country
Has built a demagoguery
And taught us to be fearful and boring.
And the weirdest thing is that he is
Conservative of politics
But really rather radical of eyebrows.
This is my country and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect…

This is my house
And I live in it
It’s made of cracks and photographs.
We rent off a guy, who bought it from a guy,
Who bought it from a guy, whose granddad left it to him.
And the weirdest thing is that this house
Has locks to keep the baddies out
But they’re mostly used to lock ourselves in.
This is my house and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.

This is my body
And I live in it.
It’s thirty-one and six months old.
It’s changed a lot since it was new.
It’s done stuff it wasn’t built to do.
I often try to fill it up with wine.
And the weirdest thing about it is
I spend so much time hating it
But it never says a bad word about me.
This is my body and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect…

This is my brain
And I live in it.
It’s made of love and bad song lyrics.
It’s tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
‘Cause god forbid I hurt somebody.
And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis for a brand new cliche.
This is my brain and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect, not quite sure I worked out how to work it.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.”

Why this song’s so cool:  Tim Minchin is so weird.  He primarily does comedy, but this song, while still pretty funny it it’s own, subtle way, is actually pretty deep and inspirational.

Why this song’s helpful: Nothing is perfect, but we’re lucky to have what we have.

More about Tim:

 http://www.timminchin.com/about/

 

Read Into It: Blackthorn and Grim

Reading is always a way to escape reality for a little while into a different universe.

Juliet Marillier is one of my favorite authors.  I love and re-read almost all of her books.  She deals primarily in historical fantasy – mostly for adults, and some for young adults.

Blackthorn and Grim:

The Blackthorn and Grim trilogy consists of Dreamers Pool, Tower of Thorns, and Den of Wolves.

This particular series touches on some very serious issues, such as PTSD, trust-building, growth, recovery, how helping others can help yourself, and how to rebuild your life after you have suffered from extreme trauma.  PLUS: medieval Ireland, unconventional heroes, and mysterious MAGIC!

Here is part of the description of the first book: 

“What if you were locked up awaiting execution and a stranger offered you a bargain that would set you free?  What if accepting bound you to certain rules of behaviour for seven years, rules you knew you were likely to break within days? And what if the penalty for breaking them was to find yourself back where you started, eaten up with bitterness and waiting to die?

Blackthorn chooses life, even though she must promise not to seek vengeance against her arch-enemy, Lord Mathuin. In company with a cell-mate, the hulking, silent Grim, the one-time healer and wise woman flees north to Winterfalls, where she settles on the fringe of the mysterious Dreamer’s Wood.  Blackthorn has promised her benefactor, the fey nobleman Conmael, that she will use her gifts only for good. But she and Grim are both scarred by the past, and the embittered healer finds her promise increasingly hard to keep.”

Read more about these great books on Juliet’s website: julietmarillier.com!

Aren’t these covers beautiful?

What Does Depression Look Like?

It looks like this.

A couple years ago, mom talked me into drawing a self-portrait every day to track my mood.  These are some of my ‘favorites.’

Three Helpful Books

  • Unexpectedly helpful books (Non-fiction):

“The Life Purpose Playbook.” by Judy Machado-Duque

A combination workbook/planner/goal-setting tool/COLORING BOOK! Makes the difficulties of planning more fun than a chore. I had so much fun making the vision board (pictured above), that I ran out of room and just haaad to make another one (also pictured above).

And if your daily calendar page looks like this, who cares!??

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1518605788/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

“The Woman’s Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide for Restoring Balance in Your Life” by Jennifer Louden.

OMG I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH. Particularly the fact that there is a helpful chart matrix in the middle where you can locate how you are feeling (i.e. lonely, ugly, nervous, exhausted, whatever) and then trace your finger over to the multiple recommended chapters for helping with that emotion.  Each short chapter includes a variety of different suggestions, so you can find one that works for you.  Great reference tool! I’ve used this book since high school.

https://www.amazon.com/Womans-Comfort-Book-Self-Nurturing-Restoring/dp/0060776676/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1496867742&sr=8-1&keywords=woman%27s+comfort+book

“The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo.

Not specifically about depression/anxiety, but I did find it really helpful. It gave me achievable goals that I could accomplish in stages that resulted in visual, environmental, and mental benefits.  After all, cleansing your past, saying goodbye to old, painful memories, and having an aesthetically pleasing living space are all refreshing, invigorating, and crucial to happiness and the healing process.  I have a copy if you want to borrow. 🙂

Now my closet is at least half as full, my storage is maximized, and finding/putting away clothes is so easy!

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing/dp/1607747308/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496803892&sr=1-1&keywords=marie+kondo+the+life-changing+magic+of+tidying+up

If I Don’t Sleep Well Tonight…

I will be mad.

I couldn’t sleep all last night, no sleep for me.  Which was dumb, but whatever. Fine. Sometimes it happens. I abandoned even trying and actually got some stuff done, which was cool.

But then, disaster struck!

At around 10:00 a.m., I was thinking… “I dunno, maybe I’ll spend today primarily dozing.” But first, I was jammin on my planner when I discovered (GASP!) that the online class (the one I’m actually *interested* in) I thought started THIS Wednesday actually started LAST Wednesday.  uh oh….I don’t know how to work the website, what the requirements are, or what’s expected … I don’t even have my books yet!  So, after a brief panic attack I had to suddenly restructure my whole day.  Gone were plans to play games with friends and take leisurely naps and work on all those fun, creative projects…  I figured out the website, and got the general idea of what I was going to have to complete by 11:59 TONIGHT, and then took a 2.5 hour nap.

After I woke up, I completed the first part of the first lesson pretty easily – syllabus review, introductions, don’t plagiarize, blah blah blah.  But when I posted my first required discussion board post, I saw that the time stamp said 6:56 PM. Uh…. whhuuttt…? It’s like… 3:56 PM.  OH CRAP.  This school is in Pennsylvania and APPARENTLY we’re adhering to their stupid timezone.

MORE STRESS.  MORE PRESSURE. ACK ACK ACK.

Well, long story short, I finished this weeks lessons and assignments in time.

I guess the lesson is that sometimes unexpected pressure/stressers can actually be highly motivational and conducive to efficient planning, productivity, and accomplishment. PROOF!

Sometimes…
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