Brainy Trainers

Another Writing Assignment


Looking for a personal trainer? You’re in luck – you’ve found one!

Are you ready to stretch yourself every day farther than you’ve ever gone before? Are you ready to increase and expand your proficiency and dexterity? Are you ready to tone, condition, and build strength you didn’t know you had!? I can teach you to do all of that, and more!

The regimen I provide is varied – you’ll never get bored! It also easily adapts to fit the needs of any lifestyle. you already have the basic skills I can build on to help transform you into a strong, fast, confident champion! I focus on strength, flexibility, toning, cardio, and diet.

A diverse set of exercises is the ideal way to build up your stamina. Heavy lifting is important, but you can’t do that alone. You need a balance of a variety of drills and training in order to maximize your success! And, naturally, a planned and nutritious diet is key to your improvement. What you eat affects everything – your energy, actions, and results.

My program doesn’t focus on performance, but should that appeal to you, this program is a great foundation for high achievement. In addition, I can provide you with the basis to continue your own, personalized training program. I simply build on what you are already doing.

It’s my job to motivate and support my client. If you’re not confident about your abilities, my development system can easily change that! No sweat!

Although I may not be technically certified in the most typical way, and I only currently have one client, I am extremely experienced. Right now, I’m both the trainer and the trainee. Every day I perform innumerable complex exercises to train the most important muscle: my brain.

I Suck at Meditating

But I still try to do it.

You know when I thought about the topic for this blog?

WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKING MEDITATING.


Right now, I’m primarily using this app called ‘Calm,’ which is not that bad.  The free features are perfect for a beginner like me to keep busy I mean CALM.   After a couple of weeks, I decided to actually pay(!?!?) for the whole app, and I’m surprisingly glad I did.  There are  meditations for everything.  And for each category, you can choose what length of time works best for you.

My favorite feature is the sleep stories.  They’ re just someone reading a story in a soothing voice.  Sometimes it’s super boring.  Sometimes it’s a metaphor.  Whatever.  They’re great.  There’s one non-fiction one that I have never been able to stay awake through!  And there’s one fiction one about how cats basically came from dragons! LOVED IT!

Here’s some more information about meditation!

Meditation 101:
http://aboutmeditation.com/beginners-guide-to-meditation-tips-benefits-techniques/
More about meditation:
http://www.aboutmeditation.org/
If Ron Swanson can meditate, so can I.
Ron Swanson Meditates

From Chai Tea to Tai Chi

Chai Tea in the Mornings:

Chai tea in the mornings is a particular treat.  I like to have chai tea on the mornings when I have the time to just sit comfortably and relax.  Coffee is for mornings where I’m in a hurry and breakfast is synonymous with multi-tasking.  But chai tea days are those special and cherished leisurely mornings where you can breathe deeply, eat slowly, and appreciate your surroundings.  More days should be chai tea days. It’s caffeine – it’s energy, but still it somehow relaxes me while simultaneously preparing and motivating me to be productive without emphatically worrying about being productive.

Chai Tea Health Benefits:

http://www.chai-tea.org/benefits.html

All sorts of yummy teas:

http://www.teavana.com/us/en/tea/chai-tea

The BEST chai tea latte I’ve ever had was at Craft 19 in downtown Sumner.  Also, they have perfectly scrumtrulescent crepes.

http://www.craft19coffee.com/

Tai Chi in the Evenings:

A while back, I took a tai chi class through Pierce College continuing education.  It was in the morning.  On Saturdays.  While I really enjoyed it, I sadly did not attend every class.  It was in the morning. On Saturdays. ugh.

However, on the days that I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and participated, I found the class to be really relaxing and fun. I liked the explanations of the patterned movements, and the fact that everything meant something.  The practice required just enough focus to feel like meditation, while not so much brainpower was needed to make it overwhelming and exhausting.  It was challenging, but not overly so. It was, surprisingly harder than I thought it would be – requiring strong, steady, slow, and, to an extent, precise muscle movement is not as easy as it looks! But still, it made me feel solid and strong as well as surprisingly graceful.  Even though we were all beginners, when we started to get used to the pattern, and were executing the movements in sync, it was fun to feel like a part of something bigger – like our energies were all working together to make something beautiful and meaningful.

But, for me, Tai Chi is a practice more easily initiated in the evening.  Mornings are hard for me already, as an impatient insomniac, so I feel like that likely detracted significantly from my enjoyment and motivation.  In the evenings, when preparing for bed, Tai Chi can help slow the racing thoughts by slowing the body and having something on which to focus – it’s a peaceful strengthening routine that prepares my body for a more efficient resting of the mind and body.  So for me, the best way to appreciate and benefit from this calming and centering exercise, is to practice Tai Chi in the evenings.

Want to know more about Tai Chi? Here’s a beginner’s guide:

http://www.beginnerstaichi.com/what-is-tai-chi-for-beginners.html

I also found this video to be helpful!

No, I never took chai tea to my tai chi class.

How Depression Is Like a Zombie Apocalypse

It’s dark.  It’s dire.  It’s dismal. It’s deadly.

The future looks grim, and you are going to have to make some sacrifices and be fierce and strong as hell if you want to survive.

You gotta stock up on weapons and survival gear.  You gotta have a strong, supportive gang to have your back.

YOUR ZOMBIE SURVIVAL KIT NEEDS:

  • A compass – Helps you know what direction is what. Make some goals. What do you want to do and where do you want to go?  What direction is that? Use your compass to help you get there. If you see that you’re straying off the path, use your compass to reorient yourself in the right direction.
  • A first aid kit – You’re gonna get wounded.  It’s inevitable.  This is war, and you’re fighting for your life and your right to not be consumed by the enemy. Make sure you know how to mend yourself up and heal. When you’re hurting and in pain, what helps comfort you and alleviate your symptoms? Make a kit that is full of practical support, special treats, soothing remedies, happy things to revive you, and reminders that you are loved.
  • Duct tape – When you gotta patch things (or yourself) up in a hurry. Sometimes there’s no time for a first aid kit.  You need a tough, quick fix that will hold until you can regroup and come back to reevaluate. When there is an unexpected emergency or sudden crisis, you need something sturdy, durable, and dependable.  Have a strategy for coping and dealing with unforeseen calamity.
  • Food – the healthy (keep up your strength), easily accessible (you may have to eat on the run) and hopefully non  perishable (grocery store runs are going to be a difficulty) kind. Can’t fight off them zombies on an empty stomach.  Everything feels better when you’re well-fed. (But not TOO well-fed – zombies are unpredictable and you never know when you’ll have to be running and fighting again.)
  • Practical, multi-purpose, comfortable clothes – Can’t fight zombies barefoot or in a tight, pencil skirt .  Well you could… but why make it harder on yourself?  Let’s be efficient here. Layers are great.  Keep warm with your favorite blood-stained and battle-scarred hoodie.  Wear something that makes you feel confident – like you CAN take on those zombies!  That might mean something different for everybody.  Something loose so you’re cozy enough to sleep in it – saves time and energy.  Lots of pockets for carrying around those tools and accessories and chapstick.  A sarcastic t-shirt to show those zombies you don’t give a fuck.
  • No-nonsense hairdo – Zombies can pull long hair.  Don’t let unruly bangs and fly-aways distract you from the fight of your life.  Keep that hair secure and low-maintenance with a rugged bandana and no damage hair tie.  Otherwise, it’s just a constant annoyance and drain on your focus and energy.
  • Something to do – For downtime between zombie attacks.  Strangely, there’s not always a constant onslaught of frenzied zombie attacks.  You want to make the most of the times when you’re feeling okay and there aren’t that many zombies on the horizon.  Deal with necessities first: self-care (food, water, rest, hygeine). Then work on maintenance-type things. Stock your pantry and replenish your first aid kit.  Work out new strategies with your zombie-fighting team. Resolve disputes, repair the border fences and clean and practice with your weapons.  Next, try to make progress on your goals.  Scout the vicinity for supplies, tools, allies, and anything that can help you on your quest.  And don’t forget to relax, have some fun, and release some tension.  Maybe a deck of cards?
  • Flashlight – Sometimes zombies attack at night.  They are just not that respectful of your sleep schedule and plans. Deal with it.  Shining light on your surroundings will help you see them more clearly.  Start with a broad sweep of the entire area around you, then focus in on potential problem areas.
  • Lighter/matches – Even flashlights fail sometimes.  Your batteries run out eventually.  Or they malfunction.  Or fall out. You need a backup light source.  It”s hard to fight blind, so don’t let that happen.  You want to know what is going on around you.  Also, a way to start a fire so you can keep warm.  Sometimes body heat isn’t enough, and you will need to look outside yourself and your fluffy jacket for safety, warmth, comfort, light, and hope.
  • Binoculars – Be on the lookout for the threat. Do regular checks and sweeps of areas you know are weak points.  Learn to recognize the signs. Know what’s coming. You can’t just look at the things right next to you – you have to organize your troops and plan ahead. If you have some idea of what is coming and about when it will affect you and your situation, you can more easily and efficiently take action to mitigate or eliminate the danger in advance.
  • Swiss army knife – A versatile multi-tool to MacGyver your way out of awkward and dangerous situations.  Something you can apply to all sorts of predicaments in order to get positive results or avoid negative ones.  Cut bad things out of your life.  Uncork your feelings.  Build a better mindframe.
  • Melee weapon – Things are going to get up close and personal and you’re going to get dirty and feel gross.  If you only use a gun all the time you are going to come to depend on it and not see any other options or opportunities. And do you want to attract more zombies and make things worse?  Besides, you think there’s an endless supply of bullets out there? NO! So unless you have extensive experience as an ammunition engineer, and you’re also conveniently a crack shot, invest in a good, sharp machete, and a heavy baseball/cricket bat.  That way you can really show those zombies who is boss and have the satisfaction of personal triumph in your conquest.  And you will be assured that your adversary is irrevocably and indisputably dead.  With each success, you are establishing a pattern of success that will grow exponentially stronger and increase your confidence and likelihood of succeeding again against future foes.
  • Long-range weapon – Okay, fine, I guess you can have a gun.  It’s not ideal, but sometimes there is no other way to take down a zombie that is far away, and the benefits outweigh the risks. You’d be a fool not to take advantage of every tool in your arsenal, and this can help to save you trouble in the long run.  But make sure you’re aware of the risks and be careful and safe when you have to bring out the heavy artillery.  Train yourself up, don’t point it at your allies, know how to use it, and be precise so you don’t waste your shot.
  • Good health – As good as you can get it. Take care of yourself.  Doesn’t matter how many machetes you have if you’re too weak and exhausted to use them.  Drink lots of water, take vitamins if you can find them, and don’t forget to stretch your body before and after a vigorous zombie killing.  Also, don’t forget to exercise your body so you can protect yourself.  Also… endorphins.  Remember to pay close attention to what your body needs and keep training yourself in positive habits.  Tools are great, but YOU are your best weapon.    You’ll never be without yourself.

Zombies are going to try to eat your brains.  Be prepared, have resources you can trust, and always remember the double-tap.

KEEP FIGHTING AND DON’T GIVE UP.

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