Music Monday: The Call

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “the Call” by Regina Spektor

Listen to the song here (OR just watch Prince Caspian):

Oh… you prefer LIVE.  Well, here ya go then:


“It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
‘Til it was a battle cry
I’ll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything’s changing
Doesn’t mean it’s never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You’ll come back when it’s over
No need to say goodbye
You’ll come back when it’s over
No need to say goodbye

Now we’re back to the beginning
It’s just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can’t feel it too
Doesn’t mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
‘Til they’re before your eyes
You’ll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You’ll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye”

Why this song’s so cool: It’s soooooo pwetty!

Why this song’s helpful: It’s chock-a-block FULL of inspirey messages and allusions.

Those who leave you never really leave you.

“Just because everything’s changing doesn’t mean it’s never been this way before.” YOU CAN DO IT! You will get through this. This too shall pass.

The war is your challenges and obstacles.  And you’ll come back to yourself and who you truly are once you’ve weathered the storm.

Follow the light.

A reminder that what is important to you may not be important to everyone but that’s okay.

Music Monday: Something to Sing About

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “Something to Sing About” from Once More With Feeling, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode.

Listen to the song here:


“Life’s a show and we all play a part
And when the music starts,
We open up our hearts

It’s all right if some things come out wrong.
We’ll sing a happy song
And you can sing along.

Where’s there’s life,
There’s hope.
A gift.
Wishes can
Come true.
Whistle while
You work.
So hard
All day.

To be like other girls
To fit in in this glittering world.
Don’t give me songs.
Don’t give me songs.

Give me something to sing about.
I need something to sing about.

Life’s a song
You don’t get to rehearse.
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse.

Still my friends
Don’t know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be dancing for.

All the joy
Life sends.
And friends.
All the twists
And bends
Knowing that
It ends.
Well that

On if they let you go,
On if they know enough to know

That when you bow
You leave the crowd.

There was no pain,
No fear, no doubt
Till they pulled me out
Of heaven.

So that’s my refrain.
I live in hell
’Cause I’ve been expelled
From heaven.
I think I was in heaven.

So give me something to sing about.
Please give me something.

Life’s not a song.
Life isn’t bliss.
Life is just this.
It’s living.
You’ll get along.
The pain that you feel
Only can heal
By living.
You have to go on living.
So that one of us is living.”

Why this song’s so cool:  Sure – let’s do another Buffy song.  Because they’re great!

Everyone feels like they’re just faking their way through life, hoping nobody notices we’re all just big frauds with no clue what we’re doing. When this feeling gets to be too overwhelming, we can get a bit frantic and spin out of control as we try to grasp anything to hold on to. Buffy LITERALLY spins out of control and almost combusts. But she is saved from an unexpected source, Spike. Which is great because sometimes you can’t predict who or what is going to help you.

Plus I wouldn’t have wanted to see that SUPER CUTE shirt she was wearing to be destroyed.

Why this song’s helpful: Once again, Buffy expresses her struggle to fit in and be ‘normal.’ She is lost and directionless and frustrated about feeling that way when she didn’t used to feel that way.  She doesn’t know how to communicate with her friends, she doesn’t feel like they understand. In addition, she feels extremely guilty for not feeling more happy and grateful that she’s alive. She is trying so hard to focus on the positive and to find something to be happy and sing about, but it is just not working.  That’s not her fault. Sometimes you do everything right, and you still don’t succeed.  Isn’t that a Star Trek quote…? Anyway, so Buffy is trying to fake her way through her life and just pretend that she is experiencing happiness, when the reality is that she constantly feels like she is in hell, that is what depression feels like.

About the musical episode:

The Buffy wiki page:,_with_Feeling

a Daylio in the Life

Daylio is the name of a free habit-tracking app that I find really helpful.

Every day you do your daily check-in, you customize activities and then check them off if you do them that day.  Easy as that.

The best part is that the app generates statistics based on your entries.  You can look at different activities and moods on a calendar, a chart, and more! ooohhhhhh color-coordination! Such fun!

My best best-day streak yet!








You can see which days you are most consistently happy, and which days you are more often sad (probably Mondays, amirite!?)  Weirdly for September so far I seem to be saddest on the weekends?

In addition, you can look at data about how your mood correlates to the activities you do.  For example, you may discover that on bad days, you frequently eat junk food.  Of course, who knows if you’re eating junk food because you’re feeling bad or if you’re feeling bad because you’re eating junk food? It’s correlation, not causation.

heeeyyyy – I am happy on days I write! Or I write on days I’m happy! whatevs….
ooOOooo look how much I meditate! I am fancy!








With this super fun app, you can work on improving good habits, eliminating bad habits, and becoming more aware of how your activities affect your mood and vice versa.  Huzzah!

and now I can check my little ‘writing’ bubble AND my ‘blog’ bubble for today!

Music Monday: Going Through the Motions

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “Going Through the Motions” from Once More With Feeling, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode.

Listen to the song here:


“Every single night, the same arrangement,
I go out and fight the fight.
Still I always feel this strange estrangement,
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.

I’ve been making shows of trading blows,
Just hoping no one knows,
That I’ve been going through the motions,
Walking though the part,
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart.

I was always brave and kind of righteous,
Now I find I’m wavering.
Crawl out of your grave, you find this fight
Just doesn’t mean a thing

(Henchman) She ain’t got that swing.

(Buffy) -pause- Thanks for noticing.

(Demon & Henchmen) She is pretty well with fiends from Hell
But lately we can tell
That she’s just going through the motions
Faking it somehow.

(Demon) She’s not even half the girl she…owww!

(Buffy) Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life’s endeavor?

(Handsome Young Man) How can I repay…?

(Buffy) Whatever!
I don’t want to be
Going through the motions,
Losing all my drive.
I can’t even see,
If this is really me,
And I just wanna be alive.”

Why this song’s so cool:  At this point in Buffy’s story line, Buffy is really struggling to readjust to ‘normalcy,’ cause… you know… she DIED.  Also, when she was dead, she was in some version of heaven.  Her friends brought her back to life because they thought she was trapped in a horrible hell dimension, but in all actuality, she was safe and at peace. It’s just a very fun song that packs an emotional punch.  It’s a great way to visualize the feelings of depression as something more tangible, even if it is fantasy-based.

Why this song’s helpful: Buffy’s feelings are so applicable to someone struggling with depression.
Season six is probably Buffy’s darkest season.  And this makes her especially relevant for those struggling with depression.  Buffy doesn’t enjoy the things she used to, she struggles accomplishing basic, everyday tasks, no one understands why she is so sad and changed and her friends want her to just get over it already.  She feels lost, alone, guilty, worthless, helpless, empty, directionless: THESE ARE LITERALLY SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION.  She doesn’t know who she is anymore, and that is what depression feels like.

About the musical episode:

The Buffy wiki page:,_with_Feeling

Fol-De-Rol and Fiddle Dee Dee

The Final Writing Assignment

(For this class anyway…)


“Fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee and fiddley faddley foddle
all the wishes in the world are poppy cock and twoddle.
Fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee and fiddley faddley foodle
all the dreamers in the world are dizzy in the noodle.”

This is what the sensible people of the world say, according to Cinderella’s fairy godmother in the Rodger’s and Hammerstein’s musical in a song they sing together about Cinderella’s wish to go to the ball.  But together, they discover by the end of the song, that “impossible” can be changed to “it’s possible” with creativity, imagination, hard work, and someone who loves you to help.  Like Cinderella and her fairy godmother, I am learning and exploring how to grant my own wish of forging a career doing what I love: writing, being creative, and helping others.  I don’t yet know what that career will be exactly, but every day I am making choices to steer myself down the path to get there.  And I plan to use every tool and asset I have to help shape my wish out of the supplies I have.  And with a little help, and a little magic, I know I will get to the ball!


Turning the impossible to the possible is a process – one that requires many things.  It requires creativity and imagination.  Every day, I am thinking and brainstorming, searching for different ways to achieve my goals.  I am on the lookout for new opportunities to embrace that will keep me moving forward, eyes focused on the path ahead. It requires commitment, dedication and hard work. Sometimes the path is thorny, or blocked by a tree.  I continue to apply my imagination to identify creative and efficient solutions to remove such obstacles.  It requires bravery, and it requires stepping out of your comfort zone.  There is a certain degree of anxiety about the uncertainty of where the path leads, but you can’t turn back. It also requires help and support. Not all of us have a fairy godmother to turn our everyday objects into the perfect materials to achieve our dreams.  But we do have people who love us. Asking for help is scary and hard, but it is something I plan on practicing. Most of all, it requires hope, and I plan on keeping that hope alive, nurturing it, and seeing it bloom and grow into something even more beautiful.

“But the world is full of zanies and fools who don’t believe in sensible rules
and won’t believe what sensible people say..
and because these daft and dewey eyed dopes keep building up impossible
hopes impossible things are happening every day!”

Therapy is Great!/Therapy is the Worst!

  • UGH talking to people – YUCK.

Especially about very personal things … crazy hard for a lot of people (including me.)  But, I’ve seen my counselor for many years.  Even when I didn’t feel like it was helping, it helped a little by making me feel like at least I was doing SOMETHING.  It’s very helpful to get the perspective of someone outside the immediate situation.  And explaining details about your life and experiences and feelings helps you solidify and understand yourself more. And it gets you out of the house at least once a week.

+1 to social interaction.

Music Monday: No One Is Alone

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “No One Is Alone” by Stephen Sondheim, from Into The Woods.

Listen to the song here:



Mother cannot guide you.
Now you’re on your own.
Only me beside you.
Still, you’re not alone.
No one is alone, truly.
No one is alone.

Sometimes people leave you
halfway through the wood.
Others may deceive you.
You decide what’s good.
You decide alone.
But no one is alone.

I wish…

I know…
Mother isn’t here now. BAKER(to Jack)
Wrong things, right things…
Who knows what she’d say?
Who can say what’s true?
Nothing’s quite so clear now-
Do things, fight things…
Feel you’ve lost your way?
You decide, but
You are not alone, You are not alone.
Believe me.
No one is alone.
No one is alone,
Believe me.

You move just a finger,
Say the slightest word,
Something’s bound to linger,
Be heard.
No one acts alone.
Careful, no one is alone.
People make mistakes. People make mistakes.

People make mistakes,
Holding their own,
Thinking they’re alone.

Honor their mistakes…
Fight for their mistakes-
Everybody makes-

One another’s
Terrible mistakes.
Witches can be right,
Giants can be good.
You decide what’s right,
You decide what’s good.

Just remember:

Just remember:

Someone is on your side.

Our side.

Our side-
Someone else is not.
While we’re seeing our side-

Our side….

Our side-

Maybe we forgot:
They are not alone.
No one is alone.

Hard to see the light now.

Just don’t let it go.

Things will come out right now.
We can make it so.
Someone is on you side,
No one is alone.”

Why this song’s so cool: uhhhh… because it IS.

Why this song’s helpful:  Not everyone will understand what you are going through, but you’re not alone.  No one is alone.

More about Into The Woods:

The Musical:

The 2014 Movie:

Stephen Sondheim:

Read Into It: Blackthorn and Grim

Reading is always a way to escape reality for a little while into a different universe.

Juliet Marillier is one of my favorite authors.  I love and re-read almost all of her books.  She deals primarily in historical fantasy – mostly for adults, and some for young adults.

Blackthorn and Grim:

The Blackthorn and Grim trilogy consists of Dreamers Pool, Tower of Thorns, and Den of Wolves.

This particular series touches on some very serious issues, such as PTSD, trust-building, growth, recovery, how helping others can help yourself, and how to rebuild your life after you have suffered from extreme trauma.  PLUS: medieval Ireland, unconventional heroes, and mysterious MAGIC!

Here is part of the description of the first book: 

“What if you were locked up awaiting execution and a stranger offered you a bargain that would set you free?  What if accepting bound you to certain rules of behaviour for seven years, rules you knew you were likely to break within days? And what if the penalty for breaking them was to find yourself back where you started, eaten up with bitterness and waiting to die?

Blackthorn chooses life, even though she must promise not to seek vengeance against her arch-enemy, Lord Mathuin. In company with a cell-mate, the hulking, silent Grim, the one-time healer and wise woman flees north to Winterfalls, where she settles on the fringe of the mysterious Dreamer’s Wood.  Blackthorn has promised her benefactor, the fey nobleman Conmael, that she will use her gifts only for good. But she and Grim are both scarred by the past, and the embittered healer finds her promise increasingly hard to keep.”

Read more about these great books on Juliet’s website:!

Aren’t these covers beautiful?

It’s Simpler To Be a Sim

Pretending to be a sim is a great way to assess your mood when you feel like crap, but are having a hard time figuring out why. You know those needs bars in the game the Sims?  When you get really overwhelmed, think of those and how you would deal with them in the Sims.  You evaluate where you are in each category – are you in the green?  Or is the bar red with that arrow to the left?  Identify the problem areas and fix them in order of easiest-hardest.

S – Self-scan :

Think of each need category and assess your level.  It helps to ask yourself questions more like; “When did I last eat” rather than, “Am I hungry.”  Sometimes you don’t know why you feel the way you feel, or what needs the most attention.

I – Itemize improvements:

Think of how you can fix each problem area and then organize your plans to get back in the green in a way that makes sense to you.  Usually that’s easiest to hardest, but sometimes you start with the category that is the MOST RED.  Sure, you might be in the kitchen with a snack on your way to your mouth, but if you’re about to pee your pants, do that first. (please).

M – Manage momentum:

I guess that’s a fancy way of saying just do it.

  • Bladder
    • Easiest fix. GO POTTY!
  • Hunger
    • Eat something. Too hard to decide or to make something? Fruit and string cheese are my go-tos.  Just stick it in your mouth.  It’s also handy to prepare by stocking up on super easy meals for hunger emergencies.  My emergency meal is Yakitori chicken and fried rice from Costco.  It’s yummy, hot, and takes three minutes in the microwave.
  • Hygiene
    • Take a shower – you stink! Too hard to stand up? Sit down in the shower.  No rule says you can’t.  (I call it a shather). Or take a bath.  Still too much work?  Wash your face.  Brush your teeth or hair.  Invest in those make-up removal wipes for when even that is too hard. Been wearing the same clothes for three days? Change ’em!
  •  Energy
  • Fun
    • Do something you have fun (or used to have fun doing).  See a movie, hang out with friends, play laser tag. If you’re thinking, “Ugh… FUN. What even is that?”  Just take baby steps. Youtube ‘unlikely animal friendships,’ or ‘kitten derp.’ Play your favorite cheerful song.  Just take three minutes and listen to it. Or if you feel able and spritely, move your body WHILE you listen to it! Dance parties are high energy, but you can handle it for ONE song maybe, right?  It might be helpful to make a note whenever something you do makes you even a little happy.  Then you can refer to it when your fun meter is especially low.
      • This is one that helps me:
  • Social
    • Yeah, yeah interact with someone.  (This is especially tough if you are an introvert, like I am.) You may hate the idea of it, but your hate will probably lessen if you are actually doing something with someone else.  Hang out with friends, go to an event, talk to someone for just 5 minutes.  You don’t really want to see any of your friends?  Okay, just leave the house and have a random positive interaction with someone – anyone.   The best way to do this is with someone in customer service – it is LITERALLY part of their job to try to connect and be nice to you.  Go grab a coffee and remember to smile at your barista and say hello, please, and thank you.  If that’s too long of an interaction, then try complimenting someone on something.  It doesn’t really matter what (well, don’t be offensive).  You don’t even have to particularly believe it.  As you’re passing a stranger, just pick something about them, and then say you like it.  Like, “Hey – cute shoes!” It takes three words.  Two if you leave out, “hey.” Minimal effort, you make someone else feel good, which will in turn make you feel good, and LOOK you had a social interaction! Congratulations!  Your bar is moving towards the green! If even leaving the house is unthinkable, invite someone over.  Specify that you might be in your pajamas. Can’t even bear the thought of being in the company of another human? Cuddle up to your pet or hug a stuffed animal.  Reach out to people you care about via facebook, email, chat, whatever.  Send someone a text letting them know you’re thinking about them.  Even something that small can cheer you up. Try not to neglect your important relationships.
  • Comfort
    • Here’s where naps can come in handy yet again. Find your softest blanket and warmest slippers and snuggle on the couch with some mac & cheese and your favorite book.  Pretend you’re a human burrito.  Take a hot bubble bath and use that special body wash.   Treat yo’ self to a mini-spa experience!  If you’re like me (and many other ladies), you have mysteriously accumulated a ton of miscellaneous body lotion.  Get rid of it – slather it on your body.  Paint your nails while watching a silly rom-com.  IDK… what comforts YOU? Do THAT.
      • *but be careful with eating TOO much food, or relying as food as your primary comfort tool.  This can often backfire and make you feel worse, guilty, and bloated.  After you eat some comfort food, and you find yourself wanting more, try to ask yourself, “Am I hungry?” Then wait 20 minutes before getting more.
  • Environment
    • Where are you?  Or where do you go often?  Is it pretty? Calming? Comforting? Or…is it a source of anxiety, annoyance, and distress?  Make some changes. Ok, so you can’t afford to move to a better apartment or quit your job.  But you can move furniture, clean, paint walls, and declutter! Can you spruce up your office space in any way?  Add a cheerful plant or cozy seat cushion? What can you do?  LOTS! But… Baby steps again. Think about what specifically you don’t like about your environment and start there.  Start small.  For example, my bathroom had looked the same since we moved here, and I was tired of it.  I didn’t want to go in there.  To me, it was just a boring reminder of how stupid the past was. It was uncomfortable, crowded, and boring.  I thought the shower curtain was ugly.  So I bought a new shower curtain.  I changed those cabinet knobs that I hated – from functional and boring to FUNctional and pretty! I even bought a special, very soft bath mat because I hated stepping on the cold tiles!   (It was THIS and I LOVE IT! SO SQUISHY AND BEAUTIFUL!) But you don’t have to spend money to change your environment – use what you have! I hung up art that was cheerful and fun.  I got rid of clutter and moved things I didn’t use everyday to some decorative storage bins.  I fixed the broken shelf and folded the towels.  Each small thing you do to improve an environment you’re not happy with is a step in the right direction.  Even if your environment problem seems too big to solve, try doing just one small thing that makes it a little bit better.  You wish it were sunnier in Washington?  TOO BAD – haha! But you can get a light therapy lamp, take vitamin D, plan vacations to sunnier climes, make sure you get outside every day, move heavy furniture away from your windows, get stronger lightbulbs, find things you love about the rain.  Appreciate and make the most of each blue sky!

Just beware of swimming in pools with no ladders!

If I Don’t Sleep Well Tonight…

I will be mad.

I couldn’t sleep all last night, no sleep for me.  Which was dumb, but whatever. Fine. Sometimes it happens. I abandoned even trying and actually got some stuff done, which was cool.

But then, disaster struck!

At around 10:00 a.m., I was thinking… “I dunno, maybe I’ll spend today primarily dozing.” But first, I was jammin on my planner when I discovered (GASP!) that the online class (the one I’m actually *interested* in) I thought started THIS Wednesday actually started LAST Wednesday.  uh oh….I don’t know how to work the website, what the requirements are, or what’s expected … I don’t even have my books yet!  So, after a brief panic attack I had to suddenly restructure my whole day.  Gone were plans to play games with friends and take leisurely naps and work on all those fun, creative projects…  I figured out the website, and got the general idea of what I was going to have to complete by 11:59 TONIGHT, and then took a 2.5 hour nap.

After I woke up, I completed the first part of the first lesson pretty easily – syllabus review, introductions, don’t plagiarize, blah blah blah.  But when I posted my first required discussion board post, I saw that the time stamp said 6:56 PM. Uh…. whhuuttt…? It’s like… 3:56 PM.  OH CRAP.  This school is in Pennsylvania and APPARENTLY we’re adhering to their stupid timezone.


Well, long story short, I finished this weeks lessons and assignments in time.

I guess the lesson is that sometimes unexpected pressure/stressers can actually be highly motivational and conducive to efficient planning, productivity, and accomplishment. PROOF!