Feminist Fairy Tales: Research Problem Statement

…cause everyone LOVES reading research papers!

Feminist Fairy Tales and Retellings of Empowerment


The original and conventional fairy tale most frequently portrays its females in ways reflective of the cultural and societal interpretations of women as weak, inferior, or lacking agency, placing their value solely on their relationship with a man: “Girls and women play dead or doormats (as in ‘Snow White’, Cinderella,’ and ‘Sleeping Beauty,’) or are severely mutilated (as in ‘The Little Mermaid’)” (Paul, 1999, p. 117). Instead of including and representing women as unique individuals in their own right, sex-role stereotyping is used to portray female characters as characters whose worth is defined in terms of masculinity or the lack thereof.  Because traditional fairy tales often echo and amplify patriarchal values and perspectives, they are a frequent target of critique and reinterpretation, especially from a feminist perspective. Children’s literature has the ability to reclaim these fairy tales by developing the female characters into unique and diverse figures with their own agency and worth as well as portraying and promoting feminist perspectives and values.

While there are certainly a variety of examples of feminism to be found in every category and genre of literature retellings of fairy tales are unique in their ability to reclaim outdated and outmoded themes and stories.  Because they tell and reimagine an already familiar tale, the staid obsoleteness can be developed into a more relevant tale capable of both maintaining the original meaning, and supporting more forward-thinking perspectives that “provide sources of comfort and pleasure, models for behavior, and identity, reflections of self and reality, and visions of better or less painful possibilities” (Tribunella, 2011, p. 25).  Fairy tales introduce a somewhat predictable framework that is quickly and easily graspable by children and models simplistic ideas about identity and reality.  Retold fairy tales can develop the simple and familiar landscape into new stories, viewing the same ideas from new angles to produce more accurate and positive views of a variety of concepts and roles.  While new ways of supporting these perspectives are constantly being developed and explored, this is a particularly powerful and relevant way feminism is explored and reclaimed. Classic fairy tales, which typically feature limited, powerless, and one-dimensional female characters with little to no agency or character development need more empowering retellings.

While recent interpretations of fairy tales are portraying more and more progressive female characters and protagonists, there is still a sad lack of including developed females in modern fairy tale retellings, and feminist theory insists on “the right to be included but not just as an honorary white man” (Paul, 1999, p. 113), but as a valuable person in their own right.  Representations of strong female characters congruent with feminist ideals are crucial to the healthy development of young girls into confident young women. Retold fairy tales that feature female characters in a positive and empowering ways have the power to positively affect perspectives of femininity.  This positive affect is not limited to females only. Staid and traditionally patriarchal gendered identities are usually congruent with the “specific binary logic of gender relations, which historically subordinated the feminine to the masculine” (Hately, 2011, p. 87). Historically prevalent literary representations of gender have subscribed to the patriarchal binary and constructed and promoted restrictive models of femininity and masculinity that are ultimately inaccurate, unhelpful, and damaging.  Feminism is integral in producing gender representations in children’s literature that is more accepting and empowering for both males and females.  Increased exposure to female-centered books educate and benefit boys versus girls in many ways, and books with powerful female characters have the potential to help both females and males feel more acknowledged and comfortable, as well as inclusive and positive toward others.

Accurate and affirming female representation in literature is constantly changing over time.  This is extremely apparent when looking specifically at fairy tales and comparing original tales to more modern interpretations based on these original fairy tales. This positive and affirming representation is on the rise, but needs to be encouraged through education and information in order to maximize the societal benefits. It should be noted that a feminist retelling of any kind doesn’t need to eliminate any and all female characters in traditionally, socially, or culturally feminine roles. What is needed is an admission of the agency of female characters in choosing their own path and having value of their own, unconnected from a man.  A more equal representation of strong and empowering, identifiable and variable roles and narratives for women is required.  While identification equality has improved, the ways we communicate effectively about feminism and equality in children’s literature should continue to be emphasized in order to correct the historical imbalance.

While there are many theoretical perspectives from which this topic can be considered, the primary viewpoint used in assessing this imbalance will be that of Feminist criticism.  Fortunately, this critical theory is adept at incorporating key aspects of many various theories as well as relevant and applicable to each of them in turn.  This social construction of the patriarchy, which “promotes the belief that women are innately inferior to men” (Tyson, 81) through many avenues, both overt and discreet, such as words, body language, tone of voice, facial expressions “creates the failure that it then uses to justify its assumptions about women” (Tyson, 2015, p. 83). It is a patriarchal construction that is vastly apparent in many examples of children’s literature, but particularly in fairy tales.  Because fairy tales can provide guidelines for both boys and girls that teach normative values, it is important to look at the literature being published through a feminist lens in order to observe and evaluate the accuracy and helpfulness of the messages being presented – do they promote patriarchal standards and traditional gender roles, or do they promote equality and feminine empowerment?

Feminist criticism examines “the ways in which literature and other cultural productions reinforces or undermines the economic, political, social, and psychological oppression of women” (Tyson, 2015, p. 79) in these works of literature.  The adaptability, flexibility, and comprehensive nature of feminist critical theory makes it an impressively thorough and versatile tool with which to observe children’s literature.  It is capable of utilizing a variety of theoretical perspectives and taking advantage of the most useful aspects of those perspectives while disregarding the more irrelevant and outdated components. Patriarchal conditioning is destructive for men as well as women, which is why it is so important to encourage positive role models, both female, and male, in children’s literature, such as these retold fairy tales. While feminist theory is an “interdisciplinary theory that can connect divergent thought” (Tyson, 2015, p. 90), and can, indeed, adapt and assimilate ideas from other theoretical critiques and disciplines, this must be done with caution because so many of these critical theories and ideas are deeply entrenched in patriarchal frameworks that emphasize male experience and power. Extracting the merits from the engrained patriarchal perspective can be a dauntingly difficult process, but it can be done.

There is a vast deal of interconnectivity between feminist critical theory and many other critical theories.  Feminist criticism can incorporate diverse aspects from a variety of theories and perspectives, including postcolonial criticism, and lesbian, gay, and queer criticism.  These critical theories are all alike in their goals of deepening understanding, as well as being closely aligned with the idea of “providing a welcoming climate for texts by people marginalized by patriarchal colonial societies” (Paul, 1999, p.114).

Similar to feminist criticism in many ways, postcolonial criticism possesses a unique hybridity as well as the potential to be applied to any marginalized or oppressed group of people typically found being dominated, such as children, women, persons of color, the poor, and more.  It is a discourse that sheds light on “ways in which authority over the ‘other’ is achieved in the name of protecting innocence” (Paul, 1999, p. 120). Both discussing and understanding people perceived as inferior and emancipating them in order to return their power and worthiness in society’s eyes is incredibly consistent with feminist ideas. In traditional fairy tales, females, as well as those classified as ‘other,’ are routinely stripped of their own identities.  Postcolonial critical theory views these discrepant power dynamics and portrayals in new light through a variety of theoretical approaches, which makes it, just like feminist critical theory, extremely versatile and effective in its broad application.  The perspective of lesbian, gay, and queer criticism also explores portrayals of marginalized individuals and the dynamics of power in society. Literary interpretations in this critical theory also deal with similar recurring themes of marginalization and ‘otherness.’

Popular retellings of fairy tales continue to explore and expand on ideas consistent with these critical theories by introducing strong and developed characters in familiar narratives.  Reworking a fairy tale takes work, but fortunately, the familiar nature of a fairy tale provides a strong and solid basis on which to build upon.  With structure, imagination and applied alternative viewpoints, classically traditional fairy tales can be developed and transformed into entirely unique constructions.  Retold fairy tales have a structural advantage in the creation of their retellings, because they already have the base of their world constructed, and can build upon those “identifiable and workable laws underpinning it” (Yolen, 1996, p. 173). Because the concrete universe has already been established, the same tale can be told from a new perspective, spurring on critical thinking, new questions, and the expansion of previously unknown horizons.

Building on a familiar universe, but including additions of explanations, possibilities, developed characters to create a solid feminist message is epitomized in Gail Carson Levine’s Ella Enchanted. This book is a prime example of challenging readers to look beyond simplistic and repetitive explanations to search for more meaningful perspectives.  In contrast to the traditional Cinderella story, Ella becomes, through her own strength of will, her own knight in shining armor.  She saves herself, her princes, and her entire kingdom.  In Levine’s retelling, there is substantially more depth and detail about the protagonist and her quest to break the curse herself, and discover herself in the process.  Her story is applicable to many real-life situations and encourages the questioning of blind obedience, the value of making your own decisions, the importance of standing up for what you believe in, and the strength and courage of making sacrifices to protect the people you love.  Such depictions of self-rescuing female heroes can inspire readers that they, too, have the power and strength to overcome challenges and obstacles in their lives.

Gail Carson Levine may not have intended that Ella Enchanted become an icon of feminism, the book as well as the title character have certainly become empowering and inspirational to many readers, never losing its relevance to feminism. The book’s message of encouragement to be an independently powerful woman and refusing to be confined by obedience, never lessens in its impact.  It both encourages and emboldens readers to be true to themselves and confidently pursue their dreams and ambitions, however unconventional those may be.  Oppression is not always familiar, recognizable, or visible, but, like Ella discovers, we can give ourselves the power of the freedom to make our own choice.

This message of freedom is accessible in its relevance to many.  Ella’s depth of character and the powerfully realistic and relatable message combine to portray the importance of internal battles, as well as external.  The main conflict in Levine’s book is simply the struggle between one seemingly insignificant girl and the unwarranted and random restrictions to which she finds herself bound.  Her inner strength and conviction communicate a resourcefulness easy to admire and aspire to in the struggles and challenges of the real world.  While this retelling of Cinderella deviates from the original substantially, its feminist message is one that accentuates the positives of the original, while decreasing the negative associations.  The alterations are minimal, but they drastically contribute to a vastly more positive and empowering message for readers.

Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier deviates from the original tale quite a bit more than Levine’s Ella Enchanted. The story is unrecognizable in many ways. A primary alteration is the reduction of the number of sisters from twelve to five. As a result, each sister is afforded the attention on their individual characters instead of representing mere place-holder personalities with little to no character development. It would be difficult to delve completely into the character of each sister if there were so numerous.  This way, the reader can more easily connect to and distinguish between the sisters as they each have their own unique characteristics.

Not only are individual characters more fully formed, but the relationships are more fully formed as well.  The included romances are fleshed out and seems more natural and realistic, each developing organically through genuine connection and believable interaction.  In addition, romantic relationships are not the focus.  The story is primarily about the importance of family, the strong relationships between the sisters, and the sisters discovering their own agency rather than being caught by a male power.  The book has a strong feminist message, one that is rare in most classic fairy tales.  Furthermore, this telling has the second sister as the protagonist, emphasizing the removal of typical fairy tale restrictions and tropes, as in such fairy tales, it is invariably the oldest or the youngest sister who receives the primary narrative attention.  By breaking from this needlessly restrictive tradition, the message can be appreciated by a greater range of readers, those typically excluded, or overlooked, just as females tend to be in general.

A frequently retold fairy tale is that of Rapunzel.  Donna Jo Napoli’s Zel, and Cameron Dokey’s Golden approach this classic tale in vastly different ways, while still accentuating vastly similar themes and ideas.  Donna Jo Napoli’s Zel updates the Grimm brothers’ Rapunzel in ways that enhance and amplify the original message and delve more deeply into the characters and their relationships.  Napoli revitalizes the Rapunzel story with her plural narrative, realistic behavior patterns, and insightful relationship depictions, allowing the tale to resonate more believably with modern value systems.  The detailed character development enhanced the story and provided more satisfying character interactions and empathy for their thoughts, feelings, and actions.   The Grimm brothers’ version doesn’t make any mention of Rapunzel’s parents after she is taken away, and their Rapunzel is perfectly content to live alone in a tower. but Napoli’s Rapunzel reacts more realistically, growing depressed, panicked, frantic, miserable, and angry by turns.   The reader can see the goals, desires, and motivations of each of the characters, in a display of imaginative literature that discloses “alternative ways of being in and thinking about the world” (Meek-Spencer, 2003, p. 547).

Golden by Cameron Dokey takes a different view of the Rapunzel story. This retelling of Rapunzel turns the traditional tale completely on its head, provoking questioning of the entire tale.  The main character isn’t technically even Rapunzel. Or is she?  It is a story of how two girls come to terms with their own limitations and strengths to accept their unique identities and defining features for what they truly are.  This retelling explores questions not only of identity, but also of what it means to be a girl in terms of the body and physical features.  Depictions of the body in shape their perceptions of what a natural body should look like.  The relationship between the body and gender has “historically (whether overtly or covertly) been a tool of negotiation between our understandings of bodies, and meanings derived from and attributed to them” (Hately, 2011, p. 86). Golden provides a positive portrayal of girls with marginalized bodies, encouraging a more accepting perception of diversity and an understanding, tolerance, and celebration of those with a body shape that is in some way different.  The ability of literature to shape human behavior, power structures, and ideologies is exemplified here in the explicit acceptance of girls and their value regardless of their physical appearance.

The effects and promotion of feminist children’s literature, particularly the representation of empowered female characters in retold or reclaimed fairy tales is one that necessitates further exploration through a closer looking at various retold fairy tales such as Ella Enchanted, Wildwood Dancing, Zel, and Golden. In order to ascertain how representations of positive and empowering females affect children’s perspectives of femininity, and discover how these affirming representations can be encouraged and improved further study is needed, especially the instigation of a research survey looking at peer-reviewed articles about and reader responses to feminist perspectives in retold fairy tales.  With the combination of primary source material and scholarly sources obtained through research methods and databases, these books can be assessed as to their efficacy in teaching about key feminist concepts, improving acceptance and positive attitudes in readers towards females, and increased self-esteem based on increased positive representation for females.

Literature has an immense impact on society and the understanding of assumptions about a woman’s characteristics, roles, and overall place in the world. Not only are female characters frequently lacking from the majority of children’s literature, the books that do feature female characters may not meet the requirements of feminism as far as promoting positive portrayals of femininity or equality of the sexes.  To determine whether or not a work of children’s literature can be deemed feminist in nature, there are a variety of aspects to observe and analyze and a close reading of the text and illustrations is necessary.  What is important in these works is that the characters are portrayed, in words and image, as strong, capable, and worthy, regardless of their gender, and that harmful stereotypes are not used to influence perception of limiting gender roles.

Reclamation of fairy tales in particular “seem to have enjoyed the most dramatic revival as a result of twinned interests in women’s studies and children’s literature studies, (Paul, 2005, p. 121),” there is still farther to go. Children’s literary portrayals of girls, girlhood, and femininity have historically been consistent with promoting the patriarchal and traditional gender roles. Even female characters who begin by representing atypical or rebellions gender behaviors often grow up to “accept and extol conventional female norms” (Reid-Walsh, 2011, p. 93).  This reinforcement of patriarchal ideals is blindingly evident in when examining traditional fairy tales.  Fortunately, as attention is called to the significant lack of empowering feminist characters and messages in children’s literature, more books, both fiction and non-fiction, are emerging, and the discussion about the importance of feminist literature, especially for children, has also become noticeably more prevalent. It is this prevalence that can be observed very effortlessly in the retold fairy tale, and one that merits further investigation into its impact on communicating and understanding feminist ideas.


References

Alexander, Lloyd. (1981). The grammar of story. In Betsy Hearne and Marilyn Kaye (Eds), Celebrating children’s books: Essays on children’s literature in honor of Zena Sutherland. (pp. 3-13). New York: Lothrop, Lee, and Shepard Books.

Conli, Roy (Producer), & Greno, Nathan (Director). (2010). Tangled [Motion picture]. United States: Walt Disney Pictures.

Crew, H.S. (2002) Spinning New Tales from Traditional Texts: Donna Napoli and the Rewriting of Fairy Tale. In Children’s Literature in Education (Vol. 33, pp. 77-96).

Dokey, Cameron. (2006). Golden. New York: Simon Pulse.

Dudek, Debra. (2011). Multicultural. In P. Nel & L. Paul (Authors), Keywords for childrens literature(pp. 155-160). New York: New York University Press.

Grimm, J., & Grimm, W. (2006). Rapunzel. In the Complete Grimm’s Fairy Tales. (pp. 73-77). New York: Pantheon.

Hately, Erica. (2011). Gender. In P. Nel & L. Paul (Authors), Keywords for childrens literature(pp. 86-92). New York: New York University Press.

Hooks, Bell. (2015). Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Vol. 2, Routledge.

Levine, Gail Carson. (1997). Ella Enchanted. New York: Harper Trophy.

Marillier, Juliet. (2007). Wildwood Dancing. New York: Alferd A. Knopf.

Meek Spencer, Margaret. (2003). What More Needs Saying about Imagination? In Reading Research Quarterly (Vol. 38, pp. 546-551).

Napoli, D. J. (1998). Zel. New York: Puffin Books.

Paul, Lissa. (1990). Enigma variations: What feminist theory knows about children’s literature. In Peter Hunt (Editor) Children’s literature: the development of criticism. (pp. 148 – 165). New York: Routledge.

Paul, Lissa. (2009). Feminism revisited. In Peter Hunt (Editor) Understanding Children’s Literature: Key Essays from the Second Edition of The International Companion Encyclopedia of Children’s Literature. N.p.: Routledge.

Paul, Lissa. (1999). From same-sex role stereotyping to subjectivity: Feminist Criticism. In Peter Hunt (Editor) Understanding children’s literature: Key essays from the international companion encyclopedia of children’s literature. New York: Routledge.

Tyson, Lois. (2015). Critical Theory Today: A User-friendly Guide. N.p.: Routledge.

Weyn, Suzanne. (2005). Night Dance. New York: Simon Pulse.

Whitley, D. (2000). Fantasy narratives and growing up. In Eve Bearne and Victor Watson (Eds), Where texts and children meet. (pp. 172-182.) New York: Routledge Press.

Yolen, Jane. (1996). Turtles All the Way Down. In S. Egoff (Ed.), Only Connect: Readings on Children’s Literature (pp. 164-174). New York: Oxford University Press.

Zipes, Jack. (1999). Hans Christian Andersen and the Discourse of the Dominated. In When Dreams Came True: Classical Fairy Tales and Their Tradition (pp. 80-110). New York: Routledge.

Illiteracy Weekly Newsletter

…. I wish I’d started this homework assignment earlier instead of 3 hours before it was due… it was A LOT of fun, and I’d love to have put more time and energy into it! I wish the content was better… but I guess it’s funnier if it’s NOT! 😉

If you can’t read the tiny text, no big deal… it’s mostly about articles we had to read for class.

This is what the ‘inspirational’ photo says, in case you can’t read it.  😉
(It’s in the rotation of backgrounds on my laptop)

WORDS, WORDS, powerful WORDS!

“Don’t ever diminish the power of words. Words move hearts and hearts move limbs.”
-Hamza Yusuf

Words are powerful.  And they are especially powerful in influencing and impacting young children, who have often not fully developed discerning critical thinking skills and are easily convinced that Santa is real, or eating carrots will make them see in the dark. Prevalent themes and topics in children’s literature are constantly changing – How these themes develop and change over time and how authors adapt to this transformation can be observed both in the progression of their individual works, as well as the progression of all literary works. The words about these themes and topics have the power to significantly influence people, not only about things trivial, or specific opinions, but also about beliefs, ideas, ways of thinking and how to be a human.

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.”
-Pearl Strachan Hurd

Some consistently common topics and themes are those of obedience and questioning the traditional, looking beyond appearances, and envisioning and exploring the possibility of a better future.  While these overarching ideas have remained fairly stable in their appearance, associated opinions and perspectives regarding these portrayals are always in flux. With the power of words, the authors of children’s literature can spread awareness of current issues, encourage and develop new and modern viewpoints, and impact readers in a variety of ways.

“All I need is a sheet of paper and something to write with, and then I can turn the world upside down.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Historically, viewpoints on obedience and tradition have been more positive and encouraging of these values.  Today, strict obedience is more and more frequently depicted as undesirable, and the questioning and challenging of the traditional is depicted as more acceptable -thank goodness! We need a little healthy rebellion in our lives every now and then in order to fight for the creation and development of positive advances and an altogether better world. Literary characters question their reality by choosing alternative paths and practice critical thinking about the world around them, especially in regards to appearances. Frequently, characters that look beautiful, are, in fact, villains, and those with physical or emotional differences or defects prove to be heroes or redeemably praiseworthy. Even words can be misjudged based on their appearance. Interpretation is already subjective, and even when an author’s intent seems clear, language exists in such a way that they may actually be saying something entirely different!

“The pen is mightier than the sword”
– Edward Bulwer-Lytton

The protagonist of Philip Pullman’s Dark Materials series, Lyra, is often disobedient and rebellious, and grows to be suspicious of beautiful and/or powerful people, but these behavior patterns are not depicted as inherently negative, and are actually regularly rewarded.  Many of Ursula Le Guin’s characters rebel in similar way against traditional societal behaviors, those of their constructed literary world, as well as those of the world outside the books.  The dragons even reject gender at all! Fantastic! Let us all be more open-minded, like dragons! Through these consistent rebellions and questions, (now) standard fantasy characters develop unique identities and supply valuable contributions to develop and enrich their worlds. In this way, authors can influence readers to aspire to similar identity development and enriching contributions. Powerful. And hopeful.

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”
– Rumi

It was initially a bit disheartening to read Ursula Le Guin’s intro of ‘Earthsea Revisited,’ just because it is sadly still so relevant that “women are seen in relation to heroes: as mother, wife, seducer, beloved, victim, or rescuable maiden” (1). She wrote this in 1999, and even today it is depressingly very applicable to the majority of ‘heroes’ in literature, film, and REAL LIFE!  It was really interesting to see how Le Guin herself was aware of society’s impact on her own writing choices in terms of female roles and limitations: “I simply lacked the courage to make my heroine doubly Other” (2).  Even when she included powerful female characters, they were not necessarily defined as typical heroes.  While Earthsea has a male-dominated society and emphasis, her series seems to develop over time in complexity and grow more organically inclusive.

“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.”
– Albus Dumbledore

Through the convincing and compelling enrichments of fantasy worlds, the outside world can be enriched simultaneously through new developments and insights.  The words used in the exploration of possible peaceful and harmonious futures can encourage peaceful and harmonious futures for modern society.  Even exploring dismal futures can inspire change, also encouraging a future of peace and harmony. Le Guin’s dominating theme of her first trilogy was “the quest for inner harmony and personal wholeness” (Marek Oziewicz, Rediscovering harmony: Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea sequence”), a thematic quest idea that is congruent with the search for a better future.  “Le Guin’s vision is neither Utopian nor dystopian, but rather what may be called ‘melioristic,’ meaning tending to betterment through human effort – or maybe through the opening of human hearts.” (Lenz, 2001, pp.77) Through the encouragement of the development of personal peace and harmony, in literary works as well as reflections upon those works, perhaps a future of real peace and harmony can be achieved.

That’d be hella sweet.

“No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.”
– John Keating

I dunno… he’s telling me with words…. should I believe him?

… wait… I’m using words… Am I influencing YOU? Do I mean what I am saying? What message am I even communicating!!?

WORDCEPTION.

Brainy Trainers

Another Writing Assignment


Looking for a personal trainer? You’re in luck – you’ve found one!

Are you ready to stretch yourself every day farther than you’ve ever gone before? Are you ready to increase and expand your proficiency and dexterity? Are you ready to tone, condition, and build strength you didn’t know you had!? I can teach you to do all of that, and more!

The regimen I provide is varied – you’ll never get bored! It also easily adapts to fit the needs of any lifestyle. you already have the basic skills I can build on to help transform you into a strong, fast, confident champion! I focus on strength, flexibility, toning, cardio, and diet.

A diverse set of exercises is the ideal way to build up your stamina. Heavy lifting is important, but you can’t do that alone. You need a balance of a variety of drills and training in order to maximize your success! And, naturally, a planned and nutritious diet is key to your improvement. What you eat affects everything – your energy, actions, and results.

My program doesn’t focus on performance, but should that appeal to you, this program is a great foundation for high achievement. In addition, I can provide you with the basis to continue your own, personalized training program. I simply build on what you are already doing.

It’s my job to motivate and support my client. If you’re not confident about your abilities, my development system can easily change that! No sweat!

Although I may not be technically certified in the most typical way, and I only currently have one client, I am extremely experienced. Right now, I’m both the trainer and the trainee. Every day I perform innumerable complex exercises to train the most important muscle: my brain.

Mary was Fed Up with Bob…

Another assignment for one of my writing classes:

Mary was fed up with Bob and didn’t quite know how to deal with it.

It had been for some time now that she had realized she wasn’t happy.  Her feelings had changed.  She used to be content with him.  But then, time had passed, and he just wasn’t the same man from before.  He seemed somehow less than he had been, just a dim reflection of the man she had first met.  She was disappointed.  In him, and in herself.  Now she just felt empty, even slightly ill around him. Something was missing.

Mary shook her head slowly as she gazed down at Bob as he reclined in the usual chair.  He seemed so peaceful.  And why not? He didn’t know how hollow and alone she felt.  “Had it all been for nothing?” she wondered.   She caressed his face tenderly and tucked a lonely, graying hair behind his ear.  If only he would open his eyes, then maybe, just maybe things could change.  They could change together. Work things out, give it another go.  She could be less demanding, couldn’t she?  Take less of him?  He could make her feel that way again, couldn’t he? That special way she had only ever felt with him, and only at the beginning- completely full of abundance and love?  He had been the missing part of her, once.  But maybe no one person could ever be enough.

She took her hand away and pondered her situation.  Maybe it was too late. The magic was gone, but why?  Why had his sweetness faded? When had her hunger for him dwindled away into detachment, and then revulsion?  Where was that flavor, that zest, that delicious satisfaction?  His essence seemed to saturate the air. Once, that had been an invigorating comfort, but now… she  didn’t think she could stomach much more.  Mary sighed. It was time to move on. There just wasn’t any room left for him in her life.  Or in her belly.  She was still hungry, but it was time to find someone new to eat.

If I Don’t Sleep Well Tonight…

I will be mad.

I couldn’t sleep all last night, no sleep for me.  Which was dumb, but whatever. Fine. Sometimes it happens. I abandoned even trying and actually got some stuff done, which was cool.

But then, disaster struck!

At around 10:00 a.m., I was thinking… “I dunno, maybe I’ll spend today primarily dozing.” But first, I was jammin on my planner when I discovered (GASP!) that the online class (the one I’m actually *interested* in) I thought started THIS Wednesday actually started LAST Wednesday.  uh oh….I don’t know how to work the website, what the requirements are, or what’s expected … I don’t even have my books yet!  So, after a brief panic attack I had to suddenly restructure my whole day.  Gone were plans to play games with friends and take leisurely naps and work on all those fun, creative projects…  I figured out the website, and got the general idea of what I was going to have to complete by 11:59 TONIGHT, and then took a 2.5 hour nap.

After I woke up, I completed the first part of the first lesson pretty easily – syllabus review, introductions, don’t plagiarize, blah blah blah.  But when I posted my first required discussion board post, I saw that the time stamp said 6:56 PM. Uh…. whhuuttt…? It’s like… 3:56 PM.  OH CRAP.  This school is in Pennsylvania and APPARENTLY we’re adhering to their stupid timezone.

MORE STRESS.  MORE PRESSURE. ACK ACK ACK.

Well, long story short, I finished this weeks lessons and assignments in time.

I guess the lesson is that sometimes unexpected pressure/stressers can actually be highly motivational and conducive to efficient planning, productivity, and accomplishment. PROOF!

Sometimes…

A Writing Assignment

 

I don’t consider myself fancy. Some people may see me as extravagant or expensive. I can appear that way, but more often I reside in nature, ordinary and free. My growth is boundless and I can surprise you anywhere and everywhere, if you let me.  Occasionally, I feel weird, unusual, or out of place, but I deeply relish my time spent with those close to me.  We radiate courage, we soothe and console and we work together to strengthen one another and expand out horizons.  I can lose myself with others, but I am strong when I’m alone. I am natural and abundant and delight in supporting those around me.  I can help you be at peace, or I can motivate and inspire you. I bring depth to the world and richness to the trees. I can be deep and comforting or light and carefree.  How I choose to present myself depends on your unique perspective.  Sometimes I fall into dark moods – the shadows and gloom can overwhelm me into obscurity.  But then the light might shine differently and reveal a glimmer of hope and the despair is diminished.  The despair is diminished, but I am not.  I remain steadfast and brave.  I am special, but I am part of something bigger.  I don’t tend to be noticed, but I am beautiful in my own way. You would miss me if I was gone.  I am emerald green, and I know how to both stand out and blend in, because I am versatile and confident, and I recognize and understand that we all contribute to one another’s individual beauty.  When you look for me, I’ll be there. I’ll always be there for you.

 

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