Category: Inspiration

Fol-De-Rol and Fiddle Dee Dee

The Final Writing Assignment

(For this class anyway…)

FIRST PARAGRAPH:

“Fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee and fiddley faddley foddle
all the wishes in the world are poppy cock and twoddle.
Fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee and fiddley faddley foodle
all the dreamers in the world are dizzy in the noodle.”

This is what the sensible people of the world say, according to Cinderella’s fairy godmother in the Rodger’s and Hammerstein’s musical in a song they sing together about Cinderella’s wish to go to the ball.  But together, they discover by the end of the song, that “impossible” can be changed to “it’s possible” with creativity, imagination, hard work, and someone who loves you to help.  Like Cinderella and her fairy godmother, I am learning and exploring how to grant my own wish of forging a career doing what I love: writing, being creative, and helping others.  I don’t yet know what that career will be exactly, but every day I am making choices to steer myself down the path to get there.  And I plan to use every tool and asset I have to help shape my wish out of the supplies I have.  And with a little help, and a little magic, I know I will get to the ball!

SUMMARY:

Turning the impossible to the possible is a process – one that requires many things.  It requires creativity and imagination.  Every day, I am thinking and brainstorming, searching for different ways to achieve my goals.  I am on the lookout for new opportunities to embrace that will keep me moving forward, eyes focused on the path ahead. It requires commitment, dedication and hard work. Sometimes the path is thorny, or blocked by a tree.  I continue to apply my imagination to identify creative and efficient solutions to remove such obstacles.  It requires bravery, and it requires stepping out of your comfort zone.  There is a certain degree of anxiety about the uncertainty of where the path leads, but you can’t turn back. It also requires help and support. Not all of us have a fairy godmother to turn our everyday objects into the perfect materials to achieve our dreams.  But we do have people who love us. Asking for help is scary and hard, but it is something I plan on practicing. Most of all, it requires hope, and I plan on keeping that hope alive, nurturing it, and seeing it bloom and grow into something even more beautiful.

“But the world is full of zanies and fools who don’t believe in sensible rules
and won’t believe what sensible people say..
and because these daft and dewey eyed dopes keep building up impossible
hopes impossible things are happening every day!”

Eating French Toast With a Spoon

Eat French Toast With a Spoon!

It’s silly and different and perhaps inefficient, but sometimes you gotta do it.

Sometimes you don’t have the “right” tools for what you need to accomplish.

It may not fit the standard perception of what you should do, but who cares!?

It’s a new experience that takes creativity and open-mindedness and those are good qualities to embrace and nurture.

So eat french toast with a spoon.  It’s actually not that hard, and it’s kind of fun!

In completely unrelated news,  sometimes all my forks are dirty and I hate doing dishes…

 

A Gem By Any Other Name

A Gem By Any Other Name

(Yet another writing assignment)

I didn’t know his name.  But he knew mine.  It was written in clear, bold letters on the hard, plastic nametag that adorned my green apron.

He knew my name, but he wanted to change it.

“Isn’t Emerald a boy’s name?” he asked.

I was used to strange reactions to my rare and somewhat unusual name, so I laughed.  I didn’t choose my name, but I’ve learned to love it.

“No,” I replied, with a puzzled grin, only a little uncomfortably. Did he think I was a boy? My uniform was standardized regardless of gender, and my visor concealed most of my long hair, but I didn’t think I looked like a boy. Did I? My confusion bubbled up exponentially.  Why would he ask that?  What an odd thing to ask.  I’m a girl.  My name is Emerald. Emerald is a girl’s name.

I pushed aside my uneasiness and continued to assist him with a friendly smile.

I thought that was the end of it, but then he came to his unpleasant conclusion.

He told me he would call me “Emmy” instead. He didn’t ask.  He told.

“No,” I replied, still polite, but somewhat taken aback. Only those select few people very close to me called me by a nickname.  To hear those private syllables directed to me by a complete stranger was strange and jarring.  It felt wrong. I was confused. I felt that my personal rights had been infringed upon.  Surely he understood that a nickname is a sign of familiarity, of intimacy. I had never even seen this man before and he expected to be allowed to bastardize my name?  To reduce and minimize it, and therefore me, to fit his own personal inclination.  He didn’t have that right, did he?

Brashly, he nodded. “I’m going to call you Emmy,” he reiterated, regardless of my gentle protestation.

Had he not heard me? I had said no. I didn’t want him to call me Emmy.  He was old, maybe he had bad hearing? I stayed firm.

“I would really prefer you didn’t.  My name is Emerald.” I was still smiling, albeit more hesitantly, but inside I felt violated.  Customer service policy as well as common courtesy required that I treat this man with respect and kindness, so I did.  He followed no rules, written or socially implied.  No one required that he treat me with the same respect and kindness.

The truth was that it should have been my decision. It is my decision.  He was rude and he was wrong to insist on calling me a name that I didn’t feel comfortable with. I could have insisted on calling him a name he wasn’t comfortable with. Inconsiderate jerk, maybe? Or stupidhead mcfartface? How would he have felt then? Instead, I told him, I didn’t ask him, again not to call me Emmy, finished helping him, and he complained about me to my manager. He complained because I wasn’t okay with him disregarding my feelings and making me uncomfortable.

I didn’t know his name.  But I knew him. And I know I will meet him again in some other incarnation.  But I also know that I was right.  I am right.  It isn’t okay for anyone to call you a name you are not comfortable with.  And some things are more important than following a grocery store code of conduct.

Love deez grlllz

 

Brainy Trainers

Another Writing Assignment

Looking for a personal trainer? You’re in luck – you’ve found one!

Are you ready to stretch yourself every day farther than you’ve ever gone before? Are you ready to increase and expand your proficiency and dexterity? Are you ready to tone, condition, and build strength you didn’t know you had!? I can teach you to do all of that, and more!

The regimen I provide is varied – you’ll never get bored! It also easily adapts to fit the needs of any lifestyle. you already have the basic skills I can build on to help transform you into a strong, fast, confident champion! I focus on strength, flexibility, toning, cardio, and diet.

A diverse set of exercises is the ideal way to build up your stamina. Heavy lifting is important, but you can’t do that alone. You need a balance of a variety of drills and training in order to maximize your success! And, naturally, a planned and nutritious diet is key to your improvement. What you eat affects everything – your energy, actions, and results.

My program doesn’t focus on performance, but should that appeal to you, this program is a great foundation for high achievement. In addition, I can provide you with the basis to continue your own, personalized training program. I simply build on what you are already doing.

It’s my job to motivate and support my client. If you’re not confident about your abilities, my development system can easily change that! No sweat!

Although I may not be technically certified in the most typical way, and I only currently have one client, I am extremely experienced. Right now, I’m both the trainer and the trainee. Every day I perform innumerable complex exercises to train the most important muscle: my brain.

The Reliable Rubber Band

Yet another random assignment for my writing class.

Spoiler – it’s about… ***rubber bands!***:

such fun.

I’m searching for something. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know where I’ll find it.  I don’t even know how to find it.  I just don’t know. Sometimes I will unconsciously go to the junk drawer when I’m looking for anything at all.  I’m looking for a book that won’t even fit in the drawer, yet I still gravitate toward the drawer. I’m looking for my cat.  How would he even get in there?  Something inside the drawer is calling me to reevaluate and redefine my quest.  I am hesitant to open the drawer itself.  Is it worth it?  What if what I think I want or need isn’t even in there?  But I discard my hesitation and pull open the drawer – sometimes with ease, sometimes with a struggle, sometimes carefully, and sometimes in a hurry.

Inside, the drawer is a refuge.  It’s a treasure chest of haphazard miscellany.  It’s a delightfully unexpected estate sale bargain you happen upon randomly one late Sunday afternoon.  Despite all of these, there is one consistency.

I can always find a rubber band in there.

Sometimes the rubber band is buried beneath an assorted plethora of other small and seemingly helpful, yet ultimately insignificant objects.  Sometimes it’s caught in the corner and stubbornly refuses to even consider coming to my aid.  And sometimes it’s right on top – front and center and eager to spring to assistance.  I swear they’re inside stretching and shoving and jumping and rearranging themselves whenever the drawer is abandoned and shut up tight.

Sometimes the rubber band is new and springy, full of excited exuberance. Sometimes it’s old and brittle and reluctant to leave the comfortable sameness of the drawer. And most often, the rubber band is somewhere between these two extremes.  Thin, but resilient and durable.  Or thick and tough, but somewhat lacking in its supple elasticity.

Their appearance is rarely a direct reflection of their usefulness, but then appearances rarely are.  Big, thick rubber bands have their uses.  So do tiny, slender ones. And every combination in between has the potential to facilitate some sort of discovery or creative solution.  Despite their visible stains, or the fact that they have already been used tenfold, they endure in their obliging and practical support.  If I select the wrong one for the task at hand, they will quickly let me know. And there is always a backup rubber band – a patiently waiting friend ready to help me try again or look at my problem from a different perspective.

I don’t know how they get in there.  I can never distinctly remember putting a rubber band in the drawer.  They just appear.  They seem to know that I will need them someday.  I will need their versatile durability and their flexible strength. I will need their constancy and keen enthusiasm.  I will need a rubber band.

You never know when you’ll need them, but they’re always there.  Watching and waiting- inconspicuous in the dark, yet consistently inspiring in their own, faithful and uncomplaining way.

It’s like Where’s Waldo, but for rubber bands!

Sunshine Superman

Going outside in the sun is great! (if you can find it and get there)

Vitamin D deficiency is actually pretty common (especially here in the Pacific Northwest), and can make you feel crappy and tired.

http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/vitamin-d-deficiency#1

http://www.healthline.com/health/vitamin-d-deficiency#overview1

Ideally, you could take advantage of the sun when it’s out, participating in fun, outdoor activities like hiking and picnics and frolicking and having adventures with your friends and loved ones!

However, when you can’t leave the house and don’t want to interact with people, but you know that vitamin D is good for you, just go somewhere as private as possible that is in the sun.   If you don’t feel able to make your way to some special nook in your favorite local park, take advantage of your yard (preferably the back yard).  A friend or neighbor’s yard will work too!  I usually sneak out around back and hide in the corner of the yard where no neighbors can see me.  Sometimes I bring a pillow and soothing cool beverage, and if I’m ambitious, a book.

Just don’t forget the sunblock.

Music Monday: Not Perfect

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “Not Perfect” by Tim Minchin.

Listen to the song here:

Lyrics:

“This is my earth
And I live in it
It’s one third dirt and two thirds water
And it rotates and revolves through space
At rather an impressive pace
And never even messes up my hair.
And here’s the really weird thing
The force created by its spin
Is the force that stops the chaos flooding in.
This is my earth and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect…

This is my country
And I live in it.
It’s pretty big and nice to walk on.
And the bloke who runs my country
Has built a demagoguery
And taught us to be fearful and boring.
And the weirdest thing is that he is
Conservative of politics
But really rather radical of eyebrows.
This is my country and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect…

This is my house
And I live in it
It’s made of cracks and photographs.
We rent off a guy, who bought it from a guy,
Who bought it from a guy, whose granddad left it to him.
And the weirdest thing is that this house
Has locks to keep the baddies out
But they’re mostly used to lock ourselves in.
This is my house and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.

This is my body
And I live in it.
It’s thirty-one and six months old.
It’s changed a lot since it was new.
It’s done stuff it wasn’t built to do.
I often try to fill it up with wine.
And the weirdest thing about it is
I spend so much time hating it
But it never says a bad word about me.
This is my body and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect…

This is my brain
And I live in it.
It’s made of love and bad song lyrics.
It’s tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
‘Cause god forbid I hurt somebody.
And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis for a brand new cliche.
This is my brain and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect, not quite sure I worked out how to work it.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.”

Why this song’s so cool:  Tim Minchin is so weird.  He primarily does comedy, but this song, while still pretty funny it it’s own, subtle way, is actually pretty deep and inspirational.

Why this song’s helpful: Nothing is perfect, but we’re lucky to have what we have.

More about Tim:

 http://www.timminchin.com/about/

 

Three Helpful Books

  • Unexpectedly helpful books (Non-fiction):

“The Life Purpose Playbook.” by Judy Machado-Duque

A combination workbook/planner/goal-setting tool/COLORING BOOK! Makes the difficulties of planning more fun than a chore. I had so much fun making the vision board (pictured above), that I ran out of room and just haaad to make another one (also pictured above).

And if your daily calendar page looks like this, who cares!??

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1518605788/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

“The Woman’s Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide for Restoring Balance in Your Life” by Jennifer Louden.

OMG I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH. Particularly the fact that there is a helpful chart matrix in the middle where you can locate how you are feeling (i.e. lonely, ugly, nervous, exhausted, whatever) and then trace your finger over to the multiple recommended chapters for helping with that emotion.  Each short chapter includes a variety of different suggestions, so you can find one that works for you.  Great reference tool! I’ve used this book since high school.

https://www.amazon.com/Womans-Comfort-Book-Self-Nurturing-Restoring/dp/0060776676/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1496867742&sr=8-1&keywords=woman%27s+comfort+book

“The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo.

Not specifically about depression/anxiety, but I did find it really helpful. It gave me achievable goals that I could accomplish in stages that resulted in visual, environmental, and mental benefits.  After all, cleansing your past, saying goodbye to old, painful memories, and having an aesthetically pleasing living space are all refreshing, invigorating, and crucial to happiness and the healing process.  I have a copy if you want to borrow. 🙂

Now my closet is at least half as full, my storage is maximized, and finding/putting away clothes is so easy!

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing/dp/1607747308/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496803892&sr=1-1&keywords=marie+kondo+the+life-changing+magic+of+tidying+up

How Depression Is Like a Zombie Apocalypse

It’s dark.  It’s dire.  It’s dismal. It’s deadly.

The future looks grim, and you are going to have to make some sacrifices and be fierce and strong as hell if you want to survive.

You gotta stock up on weapons and survival gear.  You gotta have a strong, supportive gang to have your back.

YOUR ZOMBIE SURVIVAL KIT NEEDS:

  • A compass – Helps you know what direction is what. Make some goals. What do you want to do and where do you want to go?  What direction is that? Use your compass to help you get there. If you see that you’re straying off the path, use your compass to reorient yourself in the right direction.
  • A first aid kit – You’re gonna get wounded.  It’s inevitable.  This is war, and you’re fighting for your life and your right to not be consumed by the enemy. Make sure you know how to mend yourself up and heal. When you’re hurting and in pain, what helps comfort you and alleviate your symptoms? Make a kit that is full of practical support, special treats, soothing remedies, happy things to revive you, and reminders that you are loved.
  • Duct tape – When you gotta patch things (or yourself) up in a hurry. Sometimes there’s no time for a first aid kit.  You need a tough, quick fix that will hold until you can regroup and come back to reevaluate. When there is an unexpected emergency or sudden crisis, you need something sturdy, durable, and dependable.  Have a strategy for coping and dealing with unforeseen calamity.
  • Food – the healthy (keep up your strength), easily accessible (you may have to eat on the run) and hopefully non  perishable (grocery store runs are going to be a difficulty) kind. Can’t fight off them zombies on an empty stomach.  Everything feels better when you’re well-fed. (But not TOO well-fed – zombies are unpredictable and you never know when you’ll have to be running and fighting again.)
  • Practical, multi-purpose, comfortable clothes – Can’t fight zombies barefoot or in a tight, pencil skirt .  Well you could… but why make it harder on yourself?  Let’s be efficient here. Layers are great.  Keep warm with your favorite blood-stained and battle-scarred hoodie.  Wear something that makes you feel confident – like you CAN take on those zombies!  That might mean something different for everybody.  Something loose so you’re cozy enough to sleep in it – saves time and energy.  Lots of pockets for carrying around those tools and accessories and chapstick.  A sarcastic t-shirt to show those zombies you don’t give a fuck.
  • No-nonsense hairdo – Zombies can pull long hair.  Don’t let unruly bangs and fly-aways distract you from the fight of your life.  Keep that hair secure and low-maintenance with a rugged bandana and no damage hair tie.  Otherwise, it’s just a constant annoyance and drain on your focus and energy.
  • Something to do – For downtime between zombie attacks.  Strangely, there’s not always a constant onslaught of frenzied zombie attacks.  You want to make the most of the times when you’re feeling okay and there aren’t that many zombies on the horizon.  Deal with necessities first: self-care (food, water, rest, hygeine). Then work on maintenance-type things. Stock your pantry and replenish your first aid kit.  Work out new strategies with your zombie-fighting team. Resolve disputes, repair the border fences and clean and practice with your weapons.  Next, try to make progress on your goals.  Scout the vicinity for supplies, tools, allies, and anything that can help you on your quest.  And don’t forget to relax, have some fun, and release some tension.  Maybe a deck of cards?
  • Flashlight – Sometimes zombies attack at night.  They are just not that respectful of your sleep schedule and plans. Deal with it.  Shining light on your surroundings will help you see them more clearly.  Start with a broad sweep of the entire area around you, then focus in on potential problem areas.
  • Lighter/matches – Even flashlights fail sometimes.  Your batteries run out eventually.  Or they malfunction.  Or fall out. You need a backup light source.  It”s hard to fight blind, so don’t let that happen.  You want to know what is going on around you.  Also, a way to start a fire so you can keep warm.  Sometimes body heat isn’t enough, and you will need to look outside yourself and your fluffy jacket for safety, warmth, comfort, light, and hope.
  • Binoculars – Be on the lookout for the threat. Do regular checks and sweeps of areas you know are weak points.  Learn to recognize the signs. Know what’s coming. You can’t just look at the things right next to you – you have to organize your troops and plan ahead. If you have some idea of what is coming and about when it will affect you and your situation, you can more easily and efficiently take action to mitigate or eliminate the danger in advance.
  • Swiss army knife – A versatile multi-tool to MacGyver your way out of awkward and dangerous situations.  Something you can apply to all sorts of predicaments in order to get positive results or avoid negative ones.  Cut bad things out of your life.  Uncork your feelings.  Build a better mindframe.
  • Melee weapon – Things are going to get up close and personal and you’re going to get dirty and feel gross.  If you only use a gun all the time you are going to come to depend on it and not see any other options or opportunities. And do you want to attract more zombies and make things worse?  Besides, you think there’s an endless supply of bullets out there? NO! So unless you have extensive experience as an ammunition engineer, and you’re also conveniently a crack shot, invest in a good, sharp machete, and a heavy baseball/cricket bat.  That way you can really show those zombies who is boss and have the satisfaction of personal triumph in your conquest.  And you will be assured that your adversary is irrevocably and indisputably dead.  With each success, you are establishing a pattern of success that will grow exponentially stronger and increase your confidence and likelihood of succeeding again against future foes.
  • Long-range weapon – Okay, fine, I guess you can have a gun.  It’s not ideal, but sometimes there is no other way to take down a zombie that is far away, and the benefits outweigh the risks. You’d be a fool not to take advantage of every tool in your arsenal, and this can help to save you trouble in the long run.  But make sure you’re aware of the risks and be careful and safe when you have to bring out the heavy artillery.  Train yourself up, don’t point it at your allies, know how to use it, and be precise so you don’t waste your shot.
  • Good health – As good as you can get it. Take care of yourself.  Doesn’t matter how many machetes you have if you’re too weak and exhausted to use them.  Drink lots of water, take vitamins if you can find them, and don’t forget to stretch your body before and after a vigorous zombie killing.  Also, don’t forget to exercise your body so you can protect yourself.  Also… endorphins.  Remember to pay close attention to what your body needs and keep training yourself in positive habits.  Tools are great, but YOU are your best weapon.    You’ll never be without yourself.

Zombies are going to try to eat your brains.  Be prepared, have resources you can trust, and always remember the double-tap.

KEEP FIGHTING AND DON’T GIVE UP.

A Writing Assignment

 

I don’t consider myself fancy. Some people may see me as extravagant or expensive. I can appear that way, but more often I reside in nature, ordinary and free. My growth is boundless and I can surprise you anywhere and everywhere, if you let me.  Occasionally, I feel weird, unusual, or out of place, but I deeply relish my time spent with those close to me.  We radiate courage, we soothe and console and we work together to strengthen one another and expand out horizons.  I can lose myself with others, but I am strong when I’m alone. I am natural and abundant and delight in supporting those around me.  I can help you be at peace, or I can motivate and inspire you. I bring depth to the world and richness to the trees. I can be deep and comforting or light and carefree.  How I choose to present myself depends on your unique perspective.  Sometimes I fall into dark moods – the shadows and gloom can overwhelm me into obscurity.  But then the light might shine differently and reveal a glimmer of hope and the despair is diminished.  The despair is diminished, but I am not.  I remain steadfast and brave.  I am special, but I am part of something bigger.  I don’t tend to be noticed, but I am beautiful in my own way. You would miss me if I was gone.  I am emerald green, and I know how to both stand out and blend in, because I am versatile and confident, and I recognize and understand that we all contribute to one another’s individual beauty.  When you look for me, I’ll be there. I’ll always be there for you.