Tag: cats

How To Get Sh*t Done When Your Cat Is Obsessed With You

How To Get SH*T Done When Your Cat Is Obsessed With You

YOU CAN’T.

But there are a few strategies you can try.

My cat, Brisco, is totally obsessed with me. He always wants to hang out. He’s constantly following me wherever I go. He never leaves me alone!

If he was a person, he would be a creepy stalker cutting my face out of photographs.

Well I guess I can never get up again…..
#1 fan in the Emerald Fan Club.

Can’t really blame him – I am pretty awesome.  But it does make it difficult to accomplish anything when he is always up in my bidness.

Things that DON’T work:

  • Attempting to reason with cat.
  • Politely asking cat to respect your alone time.
  • Informing cat you think you should see other people/cats.
  • Shouting , “God dammit, Brisco you little fucking fuck, stop trying to fucking kill!!”

A loverly compilation of Brisco preventing me from getting stuff done by trying to play board games, refusing to let me put on my shoes, generally just attacking or sitting on the things I need to use, and, of course, chilling in a tambourine (’cause no better place to chill).

So here are my strategies for tricking him into leaving me alone:

  • Multitasking
    • The main method to getting anything done with Brisco in the room is to always be multitasking and moving. That way, when he comes and gets comfortable on whatever project you’re currently working on, you just move on to the next project! Then you will have at least two minutes of uninterrupted time to work on THAT project before he decides you’re not coming back and comes to sit on the current project!
    • However, keep in mind that although it is a benefit to have the projects all near each other for your convenience, it also shortens the amount of time it will take Brisco to find you and attack your next project.
    • But I guess if they’re all far apart, you will also get a stellar workout!
  • Avoidance
    • Wait until said cat is napping or conspicuously absent to partake in his outdoor adventuring time, then go hard on getting as much done as possible before he returns to jump on your project OR your face OR both. Prioritize things that take up a lot of space, take a lot of focus or attention to detail, are delicate/fragile, or involve scissors, paper, or especially ribbons!
    • This presents its own set of hazards, especially if you get really into whatever you’re doing and tend to focus so hard you don’t pay attention to your surroundings and what is going on around you. For that is when he shall sneak attack pounce!!!!!! He does love demanding attention.
  • Diversion
    • This works best for fairly simple or short-term tasks.
    • Distract with:
      • Food. If he hasn’t eaten a thousand times today. This will be extremely effective in obtaining your alone time, but only for exactly as long as it takes your cat to finish eating.
      • Toys. This is most helpful for things where you still have an available hand to use the laser pointer/ribbon/whatever cat toy works best. Great for getting your cat away from the television, the food you’re eating, your book, etc.
  • Negative Reinforcement – last resort
    • Spray bottles (in cases of emergency) are reliable deterrents.
    • I don’t like using the spray bottle too often because he is actually incredibly scared of it and I don’t want to punish him for loving me. 😉  He’s a cat.  He’s never going to stop cat-ing.  Also, he startles easily, and that combined with the fact that water is water sometimes results in disarray and chaos, especially if the project is involved or intricate in some way.

It really would be quite flattering if it wasn’t so annoying and inconvenient. So I try to focus on the gratefulness and minimize the grrrr arrgghh. He is pretty cute I guess….

#BFFs #CuddleBuddies #TotesAdorbs

I guess the benefits mostly outweigh the drawbacks…… (both of which you can read in this other post I wrote!

Pets: Joy VS Burden

⇑ You know what this episode of game of thrones⇑
was missing…? definitely A big ol’ cat in my way.

#HousePetersonRemembers

More About Dragons

Edith Nesbit is one of the authors whose works testify to the eternal flexibility of light fantasy. It was just recently that I became familiar with her work and her influence on children’s literature. I came across the story “The Dragon Tamers” through a sleep and meditation app on my phone, called “Calm.”  The app provides a variety of stories, fiction and non-fiction, read in soothing voices to help people fall asleep.  I listened to the reading of “The Dragon Tamers,” and stayed awake for the whole story, and I’m glad I did, as it quickly became a favorite.  This story is a perfect example of creative light fantasy.

This is a story about a dragon that the poor blacksmith John discovers in his dungeon, and over time, the dragon is actually the character who grows, changes and exhibits the most character development. John and his family’s various interactions with the dragon are what really drives the story and moves it forward. There are many unexpected twists and turns as well as fun Dr. Seuss-like word play, rhymes, and alliteration.

After becoming so interested in and taken with this story, I wanted to know more about Edith Nesbit, so I bought her biography, which says she is considered to be the first modern writer for children and to have basically invented the children’s adventure story, which is amazing.  It was so surprising to learn that this particular story had been published over 100 years ago. I would never have guessed that! This story really demonstrates the timelessness of fantasy and fantasy themes. If you want to know how to get your baby stop crying, apparently a dragon is extremely helpful, and you should be careful about what you feed your cat if you want your cat to stay a cat, and not turn into the beginning of dragons.

Read into It: The Dragon Tamers

The Dragon Tamers:

by Edith Nesbit

If you like reading fantasy, and want to know how to tame a dragon, this is the story for you! Also – cats.

I came across this children’s story in the ‘Sleep Stories’ section of my “Calm” meditation app.  If you have the “Calm” app on your phone or tablet, you can listen to a 39 minute soothing rendition read by Aurora De Blas with music by Ophylia Wispling. She does the voices and there is accompanying music – it’s very well done.

Because Edith Nesbit’s works were published over 100 years ago, they are now in public domain and you can also listen to or read the entire story online for free:

 

Here’s how it begins:

“There was once an old, old castle–it was so old that its walls and towers and turrets and gateways and arches had crumbled to ruins, and of all its old splendor there were only two little rooms left; and it was here that John the blacksmith had set up his forge.
He was too poor to live in a proper house, and no one asked any rent for the rooms in the ruin, because all the lords of the castle were dead and gone this many a year. So there John blew his bellows and hammered his iron and did all the work which came his way. This was not much, because most of the trade went to the mayor of the town, who was also a blacksmith in quite a large way of business, and had his huge forge facing the square of the town, and had twelve apprentices, all hammering like a nest of woodpeckers, and twelve journeymen to order the apprentices about, and a patent forge and a self-acting hammer and electric bellows, and all things handsome about him. So of course the townspeople, whenever they wanted a horse shod or a shaft mended, went to the mayor.
John the blacksmith struggled on as best he could, with a few odd jobs from travelers and strangers who did not know what a superior forge the mayor’s was. The two rooms were warm and weather-tight, but not very large; so the blacksmith got into the way of keeping his old iron, his odds and ends, his fagots, and his twopence worth of coal in the great dungeon down under the castle.
It was a very fine dungeon indeed, with a handsome vaulted roof and big iron rings whose staples were built into the wall, very strong and convenient for tying captives to, and at one end was a broken flight of wide steps leading down no one knew where. Even the lords of the castle in the good old times had never known where those steps led to, but every now and then they would kick a prisoner down the steps in their lighthearted, hopeful way, and sure enough, the prisoners never came back.
The blacksmith had never dared to go beyond the seventh step, and no more have I–so I know no more than he did what was at the bottom of those stairs.”

You can read the rest here:   http://www.online-literature.com/edith-nesbit/book-of-dragons/6/

Edith Nesbit is actually really interesting, and I bought her more recent out of print biography a while back … apparently she is considered to have invented the children’s adventure story and to be the first modern writer for children, as she was writing specifically for children when that wasn’t even a thing. -YAY!

Edith Nesbit’s biography is subtitled: A Woman of Passion.  Not only did she know a bunch of other literary coolios, such as George Bernard Shaw (as a luvah), and H.G. Wells, she married her first husband when she was 7 months pregnant, and I guess her husband cheated on her with her friend and then Edith adopted the baby…? whaaaaaaaaaa!?

The Railway Children, her most famous work has NEVER been out of print.  100+years. whaaaaa!!?!

More about Edith:
http://www.edithnesbit.co.uk/biography.php