Especially about very personal things … crazy hard for a lot of people (including me.) But, I’ve seen my counselor for many years. Even when I didn’t feel like it was helping, it helped a little by making me feel like at least I was doing SOMETHING. It’s very helpful to get the perspective of someone outside the immediate situation. And explaining details about your life and experiences and feelings helps you solidify and understand yourself more. And it gets you out of the house at least once a week.
You know what apparently helps people with depression and anxiety?
Having a cat. Or dog, or hamster, or whatever. Something you can cuddle preferably, that is reliant on you, loves you unconditionally, and you think is totes adorbs.
Therapy animals are real, people. This is the reason I adopted my cat, Brisco (Yes, he is named for Brisco County, Jr.) This is a tough one though, because there is definitely a balance that needs to be struck. Ultimately, Brisco does help more than he hinders, but there have definitely been times when I wished I didn’t have him. As with any creature, he can be annoying, persistent, in the way, etc.
derp
He meows at doors at night, knocks things over, gets in the way, tries to trip you, randomly jumps on your face, tries to eat your toes, attacks anything that moves, scratches you up, and will not let you read in peace! OMG RIGHT NOW he thinks a great place to sit is directly in front of this computer screen! So in the darkest time, sometimes a pet can be a definite added stressor and source of frustration/annoyance/helplessness. That said, I am so grateful to have him in my life. As I gain back more and more positivity, little by little, I see and feel the benefits. He’s a non-judgmental listener. He’s a distraction from my problems. He is obsessed with me and always wants to be with me. That’s pretty flattering and good for self-esteem.
Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.
Today’s song is: “No One Is Alone” by Stephen Sondheim, from Into The Woods.
Listen to the song here:
Lyrics:
“CINDERELLA
Mother cannot guide you.
Now you’re on your own.
Only me beside you.
Still, you’re not alone.
No one is alone, truly.
No one is alone.
Sometimes people leave you
halfway through the wood.
Others may deceive you.
You decide what’s good.
You decide alone.
But no one is alone.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
I wish…
CINDERELLA(To Little Red)
I know…
Mother isn’t here now. BAKER(to Jack)
Wrong things, right things…
Who knows what she’d say?
Who can say what’s true?
Nothing’s quite so clear now-
Do things, fight things…
Feel you’ve lost your way?
You decide, but
You are not alone, You are not alone.
Believe me.
No one is alone.
No one is alone,
Believe me.
Truly…
BOTH
You move just a finger,
Say the slightest word,
Something’s bound to linger,
Be heard.
No one acts alone.
Careful, no one is alone.
CINDERELLA
People make mistakes. People make mistakes.
Fathers,
Mothers,
BOTH
People make mistakes,
Holding their own,
Thinking they’re alone.
CINDERELLA
Honor their mistakes…
Fight for their mistakes-
Everybody makes-
BOTH
One another’s
Terrible mistakes.
Witches can be right,
Giants can be good.
You decide what’s right,
You decide what’s good.
CINDERELLA
Just remember:
BAKER
Just remember:
BOTH
Someone is on your side.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD & JACK
Our side.
CINDERELLA & BAKER
Our side-
Someone else is not.
While we’re seeing our side-
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD & JACK
Our side….
CINDERELLA & BAKER
Our side-
ALL
Maybe we forgot:
They are not alone.
No one is alone.
CINDERELLA
Hard to see the light now.
BAKER
Just don’t let it go.
BOTH
Things will come out right now.
We can make it so.
Someone is on you side,
No one is alone.”
Why this song’s so cool: uhhhh… because it IS.
Why this song’s helpful: Not everyone will understand what you are going through, but you’re not alone. No one is alone.
I didn’t know his name. But he knew mine. It was written in clear, bold letters on the hard, plastic nametag that adorned my green apron.
He knew my name, but he wanted to change it.
“Isn’t Emerald a boy’s name?” he asked.
I was used to strange reactions to my rare and somewhat unusual name, so I laughed. I didn’t choose my name, but I’ve learned to love it.
“No,” I replied, with a puzzled grin, only a little uncomfortably. Did he think I was a boy? My uniform was standardized regardless of gender, and my visor concealed most of my long hair, but I didn’t think I looked like a boy. Did I? My confusion bubbled up exponentially. Why would he ask that? What an odd thing to ask. I’m a girl. My name is Emerald. Emerald is a girl’s name.
I pushed aside my uneasiness and continued to assist him with a friendly smile.
I thought that was the end of it, but then he came to his unpleasant conclusion.
He told me he would call me “Emmy” instead. He didn’t ask. He told.
“No,” I replied, still polite, but somewhat taken aback. Only those select few people very close to me called me by a nickname. To hear those private syllables directed to me by a complete stranger was strange and jarring. It felt wrong. I was confused. I felt that my personal rights had been infringed upon. Surely he understood that a nickname is a sign of familiarity, of intimacy. I had never even seen this man before and he expected to be allowed to bastardize my name? To reduce and minimize it, and therefore me, to fit his own personal inclination. He didn’t have that right, did he?
Brashly, he nodded. “I’m going to call you Emmy,” he reiterated, regardless of my gentle protestation.
Had he not heard me? I had said no. I didn’t want him to call me Emmy. He was old, maybe he had bad hearing? I stayed firm.
“I would really prefer you didn’t. My name is Emerald.” I was still smiling, albeit more hesitantly, but inside I felt violated. Customer service policy as well as common courtesy required that I treat this man with respect and kindness, so I did. He followed no rules, written or socially implied. No one required that he treat me with the same respect and kindness.
The truth was that it should have been my decision. It is my decision. He was rude and he was wrong to insist on calling me a name that I didn’t feel comfortable with. I could have insisted on calling him a name he wasn’t comfortable with. Inconsiderate jerk, maybe? Or stupidhead mcfartface? How would he have felt then? Instead, I told him, I didn’t ask him, again not to call me Emmy, finished helping him, and he complained about me to my manager. He complained because I wasn’t okay with him disregarding my feelings and making me uncomfortable.
I didn’t know his name. But I knew him. And I know I will meet him again in some other incarnation. But I also know that I was right. I am right. It isn’t okay for anyone to call you a name you are not comfortable with. And some things are more important than following a grocery store code of conduct.
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Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.
Today’s song is: “Dark, dark eyes” by Marian Call.
“You don’t know how lovely you are
Sweet sweet soul with dark dark eyes
Head to heel beautifully marred
Sweet sweet soul, forgive my surprise
I know you see right through me
But please don’t look away
I’ll comfort you if you’ll cling to me
We’ll cry and we’ll wait for the day
Oh, I wish you could see what I see
My sweet sweet soul
Dark dark eyes
You don’t know how dangerous you are
Sweet sweet soul with small, small hands
I’d tell you the truth, but it’s hard
Sweet sweet soul, you don’t comprehend
But I’ll sing you every known love song
Until you can sleep through the night
I’ll stay by your side if you’ll have me, love
I’ll hold you until you don’t fight
Oh, I wish you could see what I see
My sweet sweet soul
Dark dark eyes”
Why this song’s so cool: Marian Call is a nerdy folk singer/songwriter, and she actually has a whole album just dedicated to the T.V. show FIREFLY, which is awesome! This particular song is usually interpreted to be about River Tam.
Why this song’s helpful: Sometimes you can’t see things clearly when you’re tired or stressed or overwhelmingly sad. Your perception of yourself and the situation become warped. This song can remind you that others may see you differently and have a unique perspective that can be helpful to comfort you and get through your problems. It reminds you that sometimes all you can do is hold on and weather the storm until a new day begins. It also lets you know that your struggles are a part of what makes you who you are, and that can be beautiful and appreciated. Also the music itself is just really soothing and calming.
