A Gem By Any Other Name

A Gem By Any Other Name

(Yet another writing assignment)

I didn’t know his name.  But he knew mine.  It was written in clear, bold letters on the hard, plastic nametag that adorned my green apron.

He knew my name, but he wanted to change it.

“Isn’t Emerald a boy’s name?” he asked.

I was used to strange reactions to my rare and somewhat unusual name, so I laughed.  I didn’t choose my name, but I’ve learned to love it.

“No,” I replied, with a puzzled grin, only a little uncomfortably. Did he think I was a boy? My uniform was standardized regardless of gender, and my visor concealed most of my long hair, but I didn’t think I looked like a boy. Did I? My confusion bubbled up exponentially.  Why would he ask that?  What an odd thing to ask.  I’m a girl.  My name is Emerald. Emerald is a girl’s name.

I pushed aside my uneasiness and continued to assist him with a friendly smile.

I thought that was the end of it, but then he came to his unpleasant conclusion.

He told me he would call me “Emmy” instead. He didn’t ask.  He told.

“No,” I replied, still polite, but somewhat taken aback. Only those select few people very close to me called me by a nickname.  To hear those private syllables directed to me by a complete stranger was strange and jarring.  It felt wrong. I was confused. I felt that my personal rights had been infringed upon.  Surely he understood that a nickname is a sign of familiarity, of intimacy. I had never even seen this man before and he expected to be allowed to bastardize my name?  To reduce and minimize it, and therefore me, to fit his own personal inclination.  He didn’t have that right, did he?

Brashly, he nodded. “I’m going to call you Emmy,” he reiterated, regardless of my gentle protestation.

Had he not heard me? I had said no. I didn’t want him to call me Emmy.  He was old, maybe he had bad hearing? I stayed firm.

“I would really prefer you didn’t.  My name is Emerald.” I was still smiling, albeit more hesitantly, but inside I felt violated.  Customer service policy as well as common courtesy required that I treat this man with respect and kindness, so I did.  He followed no rules, written or socially implied.  No one required that he treat me with the same respect and kindness.

The truth was that it should have been my decision. It is my decision.  He was rude and he was wrong to insist on calling me a name that I didn’t feel comfortable with. I could have insisted on calling him a name he wasn’t comfortable with. Inconsiderate jerk, maybe? Or stupidhead mcfartface? How would he have felt then? Instead, I told him, I didn’t ask him, again not to call me Emmy, finished helping him, and he complained about me to my manager. He complained because I wasn’t okay with him disregarding my feelings and making me uncomfortable.

I didn’t know his name.  But I knew him. And I know I will meet him again in some other incarnation.  But I also know that I was right.  I am right.  It isn’t okay for anyone to call you a name you are not comfortable with.  And some things are more important than following a grocery store code of conduct.

Love deez grlllz

 

Brainy Trainers

Another Writing Assignment

Looking for a personal trainer? You’re in luck – you’ve found one!

Are you ready to stretch yourself every day farther than you’ve ever gone before? Are you ready to increase and expand your proficiency and dexterity? Are you ready to tone, condition, and build strength you didn’t know you had!? I can teach you to do all of that, and more!

The regimen I provide is varied – you’ll never get bored! It also easily adapts to fit the needs of any lifestyle. you already have the basic skills I can build on to help transform you into a strong, fast, confident champion! I focus on strength, flexibility, toning, cardio, and diet.

A diverse set of exercises is the ideal way to build up your stamina. Heavy lifting is important, but you can’t do that alone. You need a balance of a variety of drills and training in order to maximize your success! And, naturally, a planned and nutritious diet is key to your improvement. What you eat affects everything – your energy, actions, and results.

My program doesn’t focus on performance, but should that appeal to you, this program is a great foundation for high achievement. In addition, I can provide you with the basis to continue your own, personalized training program. I simply build on what you are already doing.

It’s my job to motivate and support my client. If you’re not confident about your abilities, my development system can easily change that! No sweat!

Although I may not be technically certified in the most typical way, and I only currently have one client, I am extremely experienced. Right now, I’m both the trainer and the trainee. Every day I perform innumerable complex exercises to train the most important muscle: my brain.

The Reliable Rubber Band

Yet another random assignment for my writing class.

Spoiler – it’s about… ***rubber bands!***:

such fun.

I’m searching for something. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know where I’ll find it.  I don’t even know how to find it.  I just don’t know. Sometimes I will unconsciously go to the junk drawer when I’m looking for anything at all.  I’m looking for a book that won’t even fit in the drawer, yet I still gravitate toward the drawer. I’m looking for my cat.  How would he even get in there?  Something inside the drawer is calling me to reevaluate and redefine my quest.  I am hesitant to open the drawer itself.  Is it worth it?  What if what I think I want or need isn’t even in there?  But I discard my hesitation and pull open the drawer – sometimes with ease, sometimes with a struggle, sometimes carefully, and sometimes in a hurry.

Inside, the drawer is a refuge.  It’s a treasure chest of haphazard miscellany.  It’s a delightfully unexpected estate sale bargain you happen upon randomly one late Sunday afternoon.  Despite all of these, there is one consistency.

I can always find a rubber band in there.

Sometimes the rubber band is buried beneath an assorted plethora of other small and seemingly helpful, yet ultimately insignificant objects.  Sometimes it’s caught in the corner and stubbornly refuses to even consider coming to my aid.  And sometimes it’s right on top – front and center and eager to spring to assistance.  I swear they’re inside stretching and shoving and jumping and rearranging themselves whenever the drawer is abandoned and shut up tight.

Sometimes the rubber band is new and springy, full of excited exuberance. Sometimes it’s old and brittle and reluctant to leave the comfortable sameness of the drawer. And most often, the rubber band is somewhere between these two extremes.  Thin, but resilient and durable.  Or thick and tough, but somewhat lacking in its supple elasticity.

Their appearance is rarely a direct reflection of their usefulness, but then appearances rarely are.  Big, thick rubber bands have their uses.  So do tiny, slender ones. And every combination in between has the potential to facilitate some sort of discovery or creative solution.  Despite their visible stains, or the fact that they have already been used tenfold, they endure in their obliging and practical support.  If I select the wrong one for the task at hand, they will quickly let me know. And there is always a backup rubber band – a patiently waiting friend ready to help me try again or look at my problem from a different perspective.

I don’t know how they get in there.  I can never distinctly remember putting a rubber band in the drawer.  They just appear.  They seem to know that I will need them someday.  I will need their versatile durability and their flexible strength. I will need their constancy and keen enthusiasm.  I will need a rubber band.

You never know when you’ll need them, but they’re always there.  Watching and waiting- inconspicuous in the dark, yet consistently inspiring in their own, faithful and uncomplaining way.

It’s like Where’s Waldo, but for rubber bands!

Sunshine Superman

Going outside in the sun is great! (if you can find it and get there)

Vitamin D deficiency is actually pretty common (especially here in the Pacific Northwest), and can make you feel crappy and tired.

http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/vitamin-d-deficiency#1

http://www.healthline.com/health/vitamin-d-deficiency#overview1

Ideally, you could take advantage of the sun when it’s out, participating in fun, outdoor activities like hiking and picnics and frolicking and having adventures with your friends and loved ones!

However, when you can’t leave the house and don’t want to interact with people, but you know that vitamin D is good for you, just go somewhere as private as possible that is in the sun.   If you don’t feel able to make your way to some special nook in your favorite local park, take advantage of your yard (preferably the back yard).  A friend or neighbor’s yard will work too!  I usually sneak out around back and hide in the corner of the yard where no neighbors can see me.  Sometimes I bring a pillow and soothing cool beverage, and if I’m ambitious, a book.

Just don’t forget the sunblock.

I Suck at Meditating

But I still try to do it.

You know when I thought about the topic for this blog?

WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKING MEDITATING.

Right now, I’m primarily using this app called ‘Calm,’ which is not that bad.  The free features are perfect for a beginner like me to keep busy I mean CALM.   After a couple of weeks, I decided to actually pay(!?!?) for the whole app, and I’m surprisingly glad I did.  There are  meditations for everything.  And for each category, you can choose what length of time works best for you.

My favorite feature is the sleep stories.  They’ re just someone reading a story in a soothing voice.  Sometimes it’s super boring.  Sometimes it’s a metaphor.  Whatever.  They’re great.  There’s one non-fiction one that I have never been able to stay awake through!  And there’s one fiction one about how cats basically came from dragons! LOVED IT!

Here’s some more information about meditation!

Meditation 101:
http://aboutmeditation.com/beginners-guide-to-meditation-tips-benefits-techniques/
More about meditation:
http://www.aboutmeditation.org/
If Ron Swanson can meditate, so can I.
Ron Swanson Meditates

Music Monday: Not Perfect

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “Not Perfect” by Tim Minchin.

Listen to the song here:

Lyrics:

“This is my earth
And I live in it
It’s one third dirt and two thirds water
And it rotates and revolves through space
At rather an impressive pace
And never even messes up my hair.
And here’s the really weird thing
The force created by its spin
Is the force that stops the chaos flooding in.
This is my earth and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect…

This is my country
And I live in it.
It’s pretty big and nice to walk on.
And the bloke who runs my country
Has built a demagoguery
And taught us to be fearful and boring.
And the weirdest thing is that he is
Conservative of politics
But really rather radical of eyebrows.
This is my country and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect…

This is my house
And I live in it
It’s made of cracks and photographs.
We rent off a guy, who bought it from a guy,
Who bought it from a guy, whose granddad left it to him.
And the weirdest thing is that this house
Has locks to keep the baddies out
But they’re mostly used to lock ourselves in.
This is my house and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.

This is my body
And I live in it.
It’s thirty-one and six months old.
It’s changed a lot since it was new.
It’s done stuff it wasn’t built to do.
I often try to fill it up with wine.
And the weirdest thing about it is
I spend so much time hating it
But it never says a bad word about me.
This is my body and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect…

This is my brain
And I live in it.
It’s made of love and bad song lyrics.
It’s tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
‘Cause god forbid I hurt somebody.
And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis for a brand new cliche.
This is my brain and it’s fine.
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.
It’s not perfect, not quite sure I worked out how to work it.
It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.”

Why this song’s so cool:  Tim Minchin is so weird.  He primarily does comedy, but this song, while still pretty funny it it’s own, subtle way, is actually pretty deep and inspirational.

Why this song’s helpful: Nothing is perfect, but we’re lucky to have what we have.

More about Tim:

 http://www.timminchin.com/about/

 

From Chai Tea to Tai Chi

Chai Tea in the Mornings:

Chai tea in the mornings is a particular treat.  I like to have chai tea on the mornings when I have the time to just sit comfortably and relax.  Coffee is for mornings where I’m in a hurry and breakfast is synonymous with multi-tasking.  But chai tea days are those special and cherished leisurely mornings where you can breathe deeply, eat slowly, and appreciate your surroundings.  More days should be chai tea days. It’s caffeine – it’s energy, but still it somehow relaxes me while simultaneously preparing and motivating me to be productive without emphatically worrying about being productive.

Chai Tea Health Benefits:

http://www.chai-tea.org/benefits.html

All sorts of yummy teas:

http://www.teavana.com/us/en/tea/chai-tea

The BEST chai tea latte I’ve ever had was at Craft 19 in downtown Sumner.  Also, they have perfectly scrumtrulescent crepes.

http://www.craft19coffee.com/

Tai Chi in the Evenings:

A while back, I took a tai chi class through Pierce College continuing education.  It was in the morning.  On Saturdays.  While I really enjoyed it, I sadly did not attend every class.  It was in the morning. On Saturdays. ugh.

However, on the days that I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and participated, I found the class to be really relaxing and fun. I liked the explanations of the patterned movements, and the fact that everything meant something.  The practice required just enough focus to feel like meditation, while not so much brainpower was needed to make it overwhelming and exhausting.  It was challenging, but not overly so. It was, surprisingly harder than I thought it would be – requiring strong, steady, slow, and, to an extent, precise muscle movement is not as easy as it looks! But still, it made me feel solid and strong as well as surprisingly graceful.  Even though we were all beginners, when we started to get used to the pattern, and were executing the movements in sync, it was fun to feel like a part of something bigger – like our energies were all working together to make something beautiful and meaningful.

But, for me, Tai Chi is a practice more easily initiated in the evening.  Mornings are hard for me already, as an impatient insomniac, so I feel like that likely detracted significantly from my enjoyment and motivation.  In the evenings, when preparing for bed, Tai Chi can help slow the racing thoughts by slowing the body and having something on which to focus – it’s a peaceful strengthening routine that prepares my body for a more efficient resting of the mind and body.  So for me, the best way to appreciate and benefit from this calming and centering exercise, is to practice Tai Chi in the evenings.

Want to know more about Tai Chi? Here’s a beginner’s guide:

http://www.beginnerstaichi.com/what-is-tai-chi-for-beginners.html

I also found this video to be helpful!

No, I never took chai tea to my tai chi class.

Read Into It: Blackthorn and Grim

Reading is always a way to escape reality for a little while into a different universe.

Juliet Marillier is one of my favorite authors.  I love and re-read almost all of her books.  She deals primarily in historical fantasy – mostly for adults, and some for young adults.

Blackthorn and Grim:

The Blackthorn and Grim trilogy consists of Dreamers Pool, Tower of Thorns, and Den of Wolves.

This particular series touches on some very serious issues, such as PTSD, trust-building, growth, recovery, how helping others can help yourself, and how to rebuild your life after you have suffered from extreme trauma.  PLUS: medieval Ireland, unconventional heroes, and mysterious MAGIC!

Here is part of the description of the first book: 

“What if you were locked up awaiting execution and a stranger offered you a bargain that would set you free?  What if accepting bound you to certain rules of behaviour for seven years, rules you knew you were likely to break within days? And what if the penalty for breaking them was to find yourself back where you started, eaten up with bitterness and waiting to die?

Blackthorn chooses life, even though she must promise not to seek vengeance against her arch-enemy, Lord Mathuin. In company with a cell-mate, the hulking, silent Grim, the one-time healer and wise woman flees north to Winterfalls, where she settles on the fringe of the mysterious Dreamer’s Wood.  Blackthorn has promised her benefactor, the fey nobleman Conmael, that she will use her gifts only for good. But she and Grim are both scarred by the past, and the embittered healer finds her promise increasingly hard to keep.”

Read more about these great books on Juliet’s website: julietmarillier.com!

Aren’t these covers beautiful?

What Do You Do When You Don’t Even Want Bacon?

Honestly, I do not. know.

And I hope you never have to experience that feeling.

It’s Simpler To Be a Sim

Pretending to be a sim is a great way to assess your mood when you feel like crap, but are having a hard time figuring out why. You know those needs bars in the game the Sims?  When you get really overwhelmed, think of those and how you would deal with them in the Sims.  You evaluate where you are in each category – are you in the green?  Or is the bar red with that arrow to the left?  Identify the problem areas and fix them in order of easiest-hardest.

S – Self-scan :

Think of each need category and assess your level.  It helps to ask yourself questions more like; “When did I last eat” rather than, “Am I hungry.”  Sometimes you don’t know why you feel the way you feel, or what needs the most attention.

I – Itemize improvements:

Think of how you can fix each problem area and then organize your plans to get back in the green in a way that makes sense to you.  Usually that’s easiest to hardest, but sometimes you start with the category that is the MOST RED.  Sure, you might be in the kitchen with a snack on your way to your mouth, but if you’re about to pee your pants, do that first. (please).

M – Manage momentum:

I guess that’s a fancy way of saying just do it.

  • Bladder
    • Easiest fix. GO POTTY!
  • Hunger
    • Eat something. Too hard to decide or to make something? Fruit and string cheese are my go-tos.  Just stick it in your mouth.  It’s also handy to prepare by stocking up on super easy meals for hunger emergencies.  My emergency meal is Yakitori chicken and fried rice from Costco.  It’s yummy, hot, and takes three minutes in the microwave.
yummmmmmmm
  • Hygiene
    • Take a shower – you stink! Too hard to stand up? Sit down in the shower.  No rule says you can’t.  (I call it a shather). Or take a bath.  Still too much work?  Wash your face.  Brush your teeth or hair.  Invest in those make-up removal wipes for when even that is too hard. Been wearing the same clothes for three days? Change ’em!
  •  Energy
  • Fun
    • Do something you have fun (or used to have fun doing).  See a movie, hang out with friends, play laser tag. If you’re thinking, “Ugh… FUN. What even is that?”  Just take baby steps. Youtube ‘unlikely animal friendships,’ or ‘kitten derp.’ Play your favorite cheerful song.  Just take three minutes and listen to it. Or if you feel able and spritely, move your body WHILE you listen to it! Dance parties are high energy, but you can handle it for ONE song maybe, right?  It might be helpful to make a note whenever something you do makes you even a little happy.  Then you can refer to it when your fun meter is especially low.
      • This is one that helps me:
  • Social
    • Yeah, yeah interact with someone.  (This is especially tough if you are an introvert, like I am.) You may hate the idea of it, but your hate will probably lessen if you are actually doing something with someone else.  Hang out with friends, go to an event, talk to someone for just 5 minutes.  You don’t really want to see any of your friends?  Okay, just leave the house and have a random positive interaction with someone – anyone.   The best way to do this is with someone in customer service – it is LITERALLY part of their job to try to connect and be nice to you.  Go grab a coffee and remember to smile at your barista and say hello, please, and thank you.  If that’s too long of an interaction, then try complimenting someone on something.  It doesn’t really matter what (well, don’t be offensive).  You don’t even have to particularly believe it.  As you’re passing a stranger, just pick something about them, and then say you like it.  Like, “Hey – cute shoes!” It takes three words.  Two if you leave out, “hey.” Minimal effort, you make someone else feel good, which will in turn make you feel good, and LOOK you had a social interaction! Congratulations!  Your bar is moving towards the green! If even leaving the house is unthinkable, invite someone over.  Specify that you might be in your pajamas. Can’t even bear the thought of being in the company of another human? Cuddle up to your pet or hug a stuffed animal.  Reach out to people you care about via facebook, email, chat, whatever.  Send someone a text letting them know you’re thinking about them.  Even something that small can cheer you up. Try not to neglect your important relationships.
  • Comfort
    • Here’s where naps can come in handy yet again. Find your softest blanket and warmest slippers and snuggle on the couch with some mac & cheese and your favorite book.  Pretend you’re a human burrito.  Take a hot bubble bath and use that special body wash.   Treat yo’ self to a mini-spa experience!  If you’re like me (and many other ladies), you have mysteriously accumulated a ton of miscellaneous body lotion.  Get rid of it – slather it on your body.  Paint your nails while watching a silly rom-com.  IDK… what comforts YOU? Do THAT.
      • *but be careful with eating TOO much food, or relying as food as your primary comfort tool.  This can often backfire and make you feel worse, guilty, and bloated.  After you eat some comfort food, and you find yourself wanting more, try to ask yourself, “Am I hungry?” Then wait 20 minutes before getting more.
  • Environment
    • Where are you?  Or where do you go often?  Is it pretty? Calming? Comforting? Or…is it a source of anxiety, annoyance, and distress?  Make some changes. Ok, so you can’t afford to move to a better apartment or quit your job.  But you can move furniture, clean, paint walls, and declutter! Can you spruce up your office space in any way?  Add a cheerful plant or cozy seat cushion? What can you do?  LOTS! But… Baby steps again. Think about what specifically you don’t like about your environment and start there.  Start small.  For example, my bathroom had looked the same since we moved here, and I was tired of it.  I didn’t want to go in there.  To me, it was just a boring reminder of how stupid the past was. It was uncomfortable, crowded, and boring.  I thought the shower curtain was ugly.  So I bought a new shower curtain.  I changed those cabinet knobs that I hated – from functional and boring to FUNctional and pretty! I even bought a special, very soft bath mat because I hated stepping on the cold tiles!   (It was THIS and I LOVE IT! SO SQUISHY AND BEAUTIFUL!) But you don’t have to spend money to change your environment – use what you have! I hung up art that was cheerful and fun.  I got rid of clutter and moved things I didn’t use everyday to some decorative storage bins.  I fixed the broken shelf and folded the towels.  Each small thing you do to improve an environment you’re not happy with is a step in the right direction.  Even if your environment problem seems too big to solve, try doing just one small thing that makes it a little bit better.  You wish it were sunnier in Washington?  TOO BAD – haha! But you can get a light therapy lamp, take vitamin D, plan vacations to sunnier climes, make sure you get outside every day, move heavy furniture away from your windows, get stronger lightbulbs, find things you love about the rain.  Appreciate and make the most of each blue sky!

Just beware of swimming in pools with no ladders!