I Suck at Meditating

But I still try to do it.

You know when I thought about the topic for this blog?

WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKING MEDITATING.


Right now, I’m primarily using this app called ‘Calm,’ which is not that bad.  The free features are perfect for a beginner like me to keep busy I mean CALM.   After a couple of weeks, I decided to actually pay(!?!?) for the whole app, and I’m surprisingly glad I did.  There are  meditations for everything.  And for each category, you can choose what length of time works best for you.

My favorite feature is the sleep stories.  They’ re just someone reading a story in a soothing voice.  Sometimes it’s super boring.  Sometimes it’s a metaphor.  Whatever.  They’re great.  There’s one non-fiction one that I have never been able to stay awake through!  And there’s one fiction one about how cats basically came from dragons! LOVED IT!

Here’s some more information about meditation!

Meditation 101:
http://aboutmeditation.com/beginners-guide-to-meditation-tips-benefits-techniques/
More about meditation:
http://www.aboutmeditation.org/
If Ron Swanson can meditate, so can I.
Ron Swanson Meditates

What to Watch When You’re Depressed. (Or Just Sad):

Sometimes when you’re depressed, all you can do is sit there.  Moving is just. too. hard.  Well, while you’re sitting there, maybe watching something on the telly will distract you somewhat from your misery.  It’s worth a try, right?

Here are my recommendations:

Most importantly: Watch movies that you love or used to love.  Bring back that lovin’ feeling.

My personal happy/helpful movies:

  • Lord of the Rings “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

    • I really, strongly identify with these movies (and books). Ordinary, non-conventional heroes (THAT’S ME!) have to do all this impossible-seeming stuff, go on a long, difficult, draining, physically and psychologically exhausting journey to a dark and horrible place. But there is a support network. And all they come back in some way or another. It is possible!  If they can do it, maybe so can I? Maybe?
    • “There and back again” – I have a framed print that says this that hangs in my room reminding me that, like Frodo and Sam, I CAN make it to Mt. Doom. And then I can even make it back home. Things will be different, but the quest to vanquish the evil thing that has taken me over does have an end.  This is where I got the name for this blog.
    • “There is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.” ‘Nuff said.
    • BONUS: It’s really long, so if you feel like you can’t get up off the couch for a long period of time, that’s fine . . . you’re just having a movie marathon experience. Not moving turns into something you are doing on purpose to immerse yourself in the story, yeah, that’s it!
  • Into the Woods – “The prettier the flower, the farther from the path.”

    • Basically a giant metaphor for going through dark, scary, uncertain times and getting through it. “Everything you learn there will help when you return there.”
    • Also, freaking hilarious. How did Stephen Sondheim create such a roller coaster of emotions!?  I’m laughing out loud, then sobbing hysterically.  And it’s all relevant on so many different levels.
    • “Into the woods,
      It’s time to go,
      It may be all
      In vain, you/I know.
      Into the woods-
      But even so,
      I have to take the journey.
      Into the woods,
      Without delay,
      But careful not
      To lose the way.
      Into the woods,
      Who knows what may
      Be lurking on the journey?
      Into the woods
      To get the thing
      That makes it worth
      The journeying.”
    • Remember, NO ONE IS ALONE:
  • Howl’s Moving Castle – “They say that the best blaze burns brightest when circumstances are at their worst.”

    • What do you do when you’re suddenly different than you used to be? Are you trapped in a seemingly unsolvable or frustrating situation?  Do you feel like you’re weird and different and don’t fit in?  Need a change in environment and/or scenery? Do you feel out of sync with your identity and/or appearance?  Does your outside not match your inside?
    • IT’S JUST BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL.
  • Pride and Prejudice/Sense and Sensibility – any version – “Completely and perfectly and incandescently happy.”

    • Just take me away from this time and place where everything is horrible and bring me to the land of gentle pastels, sweeping gowns, long walks in the rain, and refined, yet sassy characters. Give me some sweet distance with a side of silliness, where the problems of the heroines are poignantly real and relatable even though they’re totally not relatable.
  • Silver Linings Playbook – “I like that. Just like all the other parts of myself.”

    • Hey, look – a movie about mental illness that isn’t dumb/condescending/a caricature. It’s real and many people struggle with it. It’s accurate, normalizing and relatable.

Whatever you watched as a child/young adult is often a good choice, because it can transport you back to a time when you were happier and not as worried.

  • Harry Potter – “Don’t let the muggles get you down.”

  • Mulan, Tangled, Anastasia, (and other Disney/animated features) – “A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.”

    • Again, brings you back to a simpler, happier place. Let’s get down to business… (you can finish the rest).
    • Be careful with your selections though. Maybe fast forward through that Lion King stampede scene?  And any time any characters parents die, really, which, let’s face it, is ALL THE FREAKING TIME (if they’re not dead already).

My happy/helpful T.V. shows:

  • BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER – “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.”

    • GUYS! EVERYTHING IS JUST ONE GIANT METAPHOR FOR EVERYTHING!!!
    • Only have time for one episode? WATCH THE MUSICAL!  Season 6, episode 7: “Once More, With Feeling.”  “I touch the fire and it freezes me.  I look into it and it’s black. Why can’t I feel? My skin should crack and peel.  I want the fire back!”  Tell me that’s not about depression.
    • Only have time for one scene? THIS ONE:
      • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmLSjwam26E
      • “Every single night, the same arrangement,
        I go out and fight the fight. 
        Still I always feel this strange estrangement, 
        Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.
        …Will I stay this way forever?
        Sleepwalk through my life’s endeavor?
        …I don’t want to be
        Going through the motions,
        Losing all my drive.
        I can’t even see,
        If this is really me,
        And I just wanna be alive.”
  • Better Off Ted – “I wish I had the power to make everyone go away.”

    • So delightfully and ridiculously funny – Thank you, Netflix!
  • Parks and Recreation – “Everything hurts and I’m dying.” “I’m fine. It’ just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I’m always tired.” “I don’t want to do things.  I want to NOT do things.” “Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.” “Treat yo’ self.” “Never half-ass two things.  Whole-ass one thing.”  “My whole life is a giant mess and I love it.”

    • Every single episode is funny. It’s optimistic but realistic.  I feel like I relate to almost EVERY character. Perfect for extracting a laugh when you didn’t know you even had one left in there.  Short and sweet and easy to fit into your schedule.

*A note about sad movie-watching – I recommend mostly happy movies, but an occasional sad movie can be cleansing and helpful in its own way.  For example – if you feel guilt or shame about crying about your own problems, it can be a way to channel those tears so they can be expressed and not built up.  Try more gentle tear-jerkers like “Titanic” rather than THERE IS NO BRIGHT SPOT ANYWHERE movies like “Schindler’s List.”