Tag: happy

Music Monday: Something to Sing About

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “Something to Sing About” from Once More With Feeling, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode.

Listen to the song here:

Lyrics:

“Life’s a show and we all play a part
And when the music starts,
We open up our hearts

It’s all right if some things come out wrong.
We’ll sing a happy song
And you can sing along.

Where’s there’s life,
There’s hope.
Everyday’s
A gift.
Wishes can
Come true.
Whistle while
You work.
So hard
All day.

To be like other girls
To fit in in this glittering world.
Don’t give me songs.
Don’t give me songs.

Give me something to sing about.
I need something to sing about.

Life’s a song
You don’t get to rehearse.
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse.

Still my friends
Don’t know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be dancing for.

All the joy
Life sends.
Family
And friends.
All the twists
And bends
Knowing that
It ends.
Well that
Depends…

On if they let you go,
On if they know enough to know

That when you bow
You leave the crowd.

There was no pain,
No fear, no doubt
Till they pulled me out
Of heaven.

So that’s my refrain.
I live in hell
’Cause I’ve been expelled
From heaven.
I think I was in heaven.

So give me something to sing about.
Please give me something.

Life’s not a song.
Life isn’t bliss.
Life is just this.
It’s living.
You’ll get along.
The pain that you feel
Only can heal
By living.
You have to go on living.
So that one of us is living.”

Why this song’s so cool:  Sure – let’s do another Buffy song.  Because they’re great!

Everyone feels like they’re just faking their way through life, hoping nobody notices we’re all just big frauds with no clue what we’re doing. When this feeling gets to be too overwhelming, we can get a bit frantic and spin out of control as we try to grasp anything to hold on to. Buffy LITERALLY spins out of control and almost combusts. But she is saved from an unexpected source, Spike. Which is great because sometimes you can’t predict who or what is going to help you.

Plus I wouldn’t have wanted to see that SUPER CUTE shirt she was wearing to be destroyed.

Why this song’s helpful: Once again, Buffy expresses her struggle to fit in and be ‘normal.’ She is lost and directionless and frustrated about feeling that way when she didn’t used to feel that way.  She doesn’t know how to communicate with her friends, she doesn’t feel like they understand. In addition, she feels extremely guilty for not feeling more happy and grateful that she’s alive. She is trying so hard to focus on the positive and to find something to be happy and sing about, but it is just not working.  That’s not her fault. Sometimes you do everything right, and you still don’t succeed.  Isn’t that a Star Trek quote…? Anyway, so Buffy is trying to fake her way through her life and just pretend that she is experiencing happiness, when the reality is that she constantly feels like she is in hell, that is what depression feels like.

About the musical episode:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0533466/

The Buffy wiki page:

http://buffy.wikia.com/wiki/Once_More,_with_Feeling

a Daylio in the Life

Daylio is the name of a free habit-tracking app that I find really helpful.

Every day you do your daily check-in, you customize activities and then check them off if you do them that day.  Easy as that.

The best part is that the app generates statistics based on your entries.  You can look at different activities and moods on a calendar, a chart, and more! ooohhhhhh color-coordination! Such fun!

My best best-day streak yet!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can see which days you are most consistently happy, and which days you are more often sad (probably Mondays, amirite!?)  Weirdly for September so far I seem to be saddest on the weekends?

In addition, you can look at data about how your mood correlates to the activities you do.  For example, you may discover that on bad days, you frequently eat junk food.  Of course, who knows if you’re eating junk food because you’re feeling bad or if you’re feeling bad because you’re eating junk food? It’s correlation, not causation.

heeeyyyy – I am happy on days I write! Or I write on days I’m happy! whatevs….
ooOOooo look how much I meditate! I am fancy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With this super fun app, you can work on improving good habits, eliminating bad habits, and becoming more aware of how your activities affect your mood and vice versa.  Huzzah!

and now I can check my little ‘writing’ bubble AND my ‘blog’ bubble for today!

Lists of Love: A Poem

Disclaimer: I wrote this many years ago.  But it’s still pretty accurate and truthful.  I like making lists, and it’s important to focus on the positive in life.  

Lists of Love: A Poem

I love dresses.  I love clothes.  I love buttons, pockets, polka dots, and bows.

I love kindness.  I love good-deeding.  I love curling up ANYWHERE and reading.

I love a good story, and I love books.  I love the food makers – bakers, chefs, and cooks.

 

I love learning and I love knowing.  I love a challenge, opportunities, and growing.

I love adventures and trying new things.  I love it when someone who rarely sings, sings.

I love music.  I love my Uke.  I love harmony more than Leia loved Luke.

 

I love fruit and I love flowers.  I love when the best minutes seem to last for hours.

I love nature.  I love trees.  I love it when people know to say thank you and please.

I love people – Their perspectives and quirks. I especially love them when they don’t act like jerks.

 

I love making people laugh – I love it when they smile.  I love big hugs from those I’ve not seen in a while.

I love silly.  I love fun.  I love laughing with my friends in the sun.

I love sunshine.  I love water.  It’s certain that I love you a great deal more than I oughter.

I love oceans deep.  I love the skies above.  I love many, many things, but mostly I just love.

I’m Excited To Do Homework? School Can Be Fun!

Well, I DID IT!!!  

I completed the first class of my graduate certificate program in Children’s Literature!!!

It was called “The Art of the Picturebook,” and I never knew that school could be so interesting and fun!!  I’ve enjoyed some classes throughout my college career, but none so much as this! I was actually excited to do homework! WHUUUUT!?? weird…  I never really felt like I fit in in any of the other classes or programs I took in the past.  I guess I just needed to find the right program.  And books have always been important to me.  And now I can explore that further! Yaaaaayyyy!!!

http://www.worldcampus.psu.edu/degrees-and-certificates/childrens-literature-certificate/overview

This is how I feel about this program!

From Wrathroom Bathroom to Bestroom Restroom

My bathroom hath gloom NO MORE!

I gave my bathroom a makeover and I like rhymes.

Your environment has an affect on your overall mood, so if you are often in an environment you find dirty, ugly, uncomfortable or in any other way unpleasant or off-putting, then your mood will definitely be negatively affected!  You can end up feeling grim, nauseated, gross, and downright disgruntled as the yucky environmental factors slowly leech away your precious good mood. Just like in the Sims if there’s a mess everywhere, they are saaaaaad. 🙁 🙁 🙁

So I realized that I hated going in my bathroom.  With a boring shower curtain of questionable age and cleanliness, showertime was dreaded.  There wasn’t anything personal or any art on the walls (as we had removed all this when we were trying to sell the house).  There was accumulated unorganized clutter everywhere – it is a small bathroom with very limited counter space – like NONE at all.  Things were always falling everywhere.  And there was no place to keep towels, which was inconvenient and annoying. The shelf above the toilet was broken and unusable and the toilet itself was an unreliable flusher.  I was uncomfortable because there were no mats or anything on the floor, and my feet were always cold.  I often neglected personal hygiene – I didn’t want to be in there.  But, as a human being, I kind of have to use a bathroom at least some of the time.  And our other bathrooms were unavailable or inconvenient.  TIME FOR A BATHROOM MAAAAAAAKEOVER!!

awwwww… “Happiness looks gorgeous on me!!?” why thank you, dolphin of happiness!!
Self-care is not selfish

I did do some shopping, but mostly the transformation was about cleaning, de-cluttering, and rearranging.  I went to Ross dress for less and got a beautiful new shower curtain and brightly colored floor mat!  The hardware store provided new knobs for the ugly stainless steel ones.  Then I did a LOT of cleaning.  And I had a big box to get rid of full of unused products, redundancies, things I didn’t need to use every day, etc.  I took everything out and started fresh.  I put everyday use items within easy reach.  Pretty things migrated to visible places. While I took a lot of stuff out, I did add some stuff back in.  Since there wasn’t a first aid kit on the little shelf anymore, I had a place to put towels!  I moved in some candles and art and other things that I thought were pretty and brought me joy!  The shelf got fixed, the toilet got fixed, the negative environment got fixed.  And now my bathroom is a cheerful and inspiring place!  Well… about as cheerful and inspiring as a bathroom really can be…

It’s starting to get a little cluttered with use again…

I guess I should go head back in!  I need to view the loo, clean the latrine, make the crapper dapper!  In short, if you need to find me… I guess I’ll just be hanging out in my own personal wiz palace, AKA Wizzingham Manor.

 

It’s just soooo soft and pwetty! https://society6.com/product/really-mermaid-funky_bath-mat#s6-4073467p55a203v508

I Suck at Meditating

But I still try to do it.

You know when I thought about the topic for this blog?

WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKING MEDITATING.

Right now, I’m primarily using this app called ‘Calm,’ which is not that bad.  The free features are perfect for a beginner like me to keep busy I mean CALM.   After a couple of weeks, I decided to actually pay(!?!?) for the whole app, and I’m surprisingly glad I did.  There are  meditations for everything.  And for each category, you can choose what length of time works best for you.

My favorite feature is the sleep stories.  They’ re just someone reading a story in a soothing voice.  Sometimes it’s super boring.  Sometimes it’s a metaphor.  Whatever.  They’re great.  There’s one non-fiction one that I have never been able to stay awake through!  And there’s one fiction one about how cats basically came from dragons! LOVED IT!

Here’s some more information about meditation!

Meditation 101:
http://aboutmeditation.com/beginners-guide-to-meditation-tips-benefits-techniques/
More about meditation:
http://www.aboutmeditation.org/
If Ron Swanson can meditate, so can I.
Ron Swanson Meditates

It’s Simpler To Be a Sim

Pretending to be a sim is a great way to assess your mood when you feel like crap, but are having a hard time figuring out why. You know those needs bars in the game the Sims?  When you get really overwhelmed, think of those and how you would deal with them in the Sims.  You evaluate where you are in each category – are you in the green?  Or is the bar red with that arrow to the left?  Identify the problem areas and fix them in order of easiest-hardest.

S – Self-scan :

Think of each need category and assess your level.  It helps to ask yourself questions more like; “When did I last eat” rather than, “Am I hungry.”  Sometimes you don’t know why you feel the way you feel, or what needs the most attention.

I – Itemize improvements:

Think of how you can fix each problem area and then organize your plans to get back in the green in a way that makes sense to you.  Usually that’s easiest to hardest, but sometimes you start with the category that is the MOST RED.  Sure, you might be in the kitchen with a snack on your way to your mouth, but if you’re about to pee your pants, do that first. (please).

M – Manage momentum:

I guess that’s a fancy way of saying just do it.

  • Bladder
    • Easiest fix. GO POTTY!
  • Hunger
    • Eat something. Too hard to decide or to make something? Fruit and string cheese are my go-tos.  Just stick it in your mouth.  It’s also handy to prepare by stocking up on super easy meals for hunger emergencies.  My emergency meal is Yakitori chicken and fried rice from Costco.  It’s yummy, hot, and takes three minutes in the microwave.
yummmmmmmm
  • Hygiene
    • Take a shower – you stink! Too hard to stand up? Sit down in the shower.  No rule says you can’t.  (I call it a shather). Or take a bath.  Still too much work?  Wash your face.  Brush your teeth or hair.  Invest in those make-up removal wipes for when even that is too hard. Been wearing the same clothes for three days? Change ’em!
  •  Energy
  • Fun
    • Do something you have fun (or used to have fun doing).  See a movie, hang out with friends, play laser tag. If you’re thinking, “Ugh… FUN. What even is that?”  Just take baby steps. Youtube ‘unlikely animal friendships,’ or ‘kitten derp.’ Play your favorite cheerful song.  Just take three minutes and listen to it. Or if you feel able and spritely, move your body WHILE you listen to it! Dance parties are high energy, but you can handle it for ONE song maybe, right?  It might be helpful to make a note whenever something you do makes you even a little happy.  Then you can refer to it when your fun meter is especially low.
      • This is one that helps me:
  • Social
    • Yeah, yeah interact with someone.  (This is especially tough if you are an introvert, like I am.) You may hate the idea of it, but your hate will probably lessen if you are actually doing something with someone else.  Hang out with friends, go to an event, talk to someone for just 5 minutes.  You don’t really want to see any of your friends?  Okay, just leave the house and have a random positive interaction with someone – anyone.   The best way to do this is with someone in customer service – it is LITERALLY part of their job to try to connect and be nice to you.  Go grab a coffee and remember to smile at your barista and say hello, please, and thank you.  If that’s too long of an interaction, then try complimenting someone on something.  It doesn’t really matter what (well, don’t be offensive).  You don’t even have to particularly believe it.  As you’re passing a stranger, just pick something about them, and then say you like it.  Like, “Hey – cute shoes!” It takes three words.  Two if you leave out, “hey.” Minimal effort, you make someone else feel good, which will in turn make you feel good, and LOOK you had a social interaction! Congratulations!  Your bar is moving towards the green! If even leaving the house is unthinkable, invite someone over.  Specify that you might be in your pajamas. Can’t even bear the thought of being in the company of another human? Cuddle up to your pet or hug a stuffed animal.  Reach out to people you care about via facebook, email, chat, whatever.  Send someone a text letting them know you’re thinking about them.  Even something that small can cheer you up. Try not to neglect your important relationships.
  • Comfort
    • Here’s where naps can come in handy yet again. Find your softest blanket and warmest slippers and snuggle on the couch with some mac & cheese and your favorite book.  Pretend you’re a human burrito.  Take a hot bubble bath and use that special body wash.   Treat yo’ self to a mini-spa experience!  If you’re like me (and many other ladies), you have mysteriously accumulated a ton of miscellaneous body lotion.  Get rid of it – slather it on your body.  Paint your nails while watching a silly rom-com.  IDK… what comforts YOU? Do THAT.
      • *but be careful with eating TOO much food, or relying as food as your primary comfort tool.  This can often backfire and make you feel worse, guilty, and bloated.  After you eat some comfort food, and you find yourself wanting more, try to ask yourself, “Am I hungry?” Then wait 20 minutes before getting more.
  • Environment
    • Where are you?  Or where do you go often?  Is it pretty? Calming? Comforting? Or…is it a source of anxiety, annoyance, and distress?  Make some changes. Ok, so you can’t afford to move to a better apartment or quit your job.  But you can move furniture, clean, paint walls, and declutter! Can you spruce up your office space in any way?  Add a cheerful plant or cozy seat cushion? What can you do?  LOTS! But… Baby steps again. Think about what specifically you don’t like about your environment and start there.  Start small.  For example, my bathroom had looked the same since we moved here, and I was tired of it.  I didn’t want to go in there.  To me, it was just a boring reminder of how stupid the past was. It was uncomfortable, crowded, and boring.  I thought the shower curtain was ugly.  So I bought a new shower curtain.  I changed those cabinet knobs that I hated – from functional and boring to FUNctional and pretty! I even bought a special, very soft bath mat because I hated stepping on the cold tiles!   (It was THIS and I LOVE IT! SO SQUISHY AND BEAUTIFUL!) But you don’t have to spend money to change your environment – use what you have! I hung up art that was cheerful and fun.  I got rid of clutter and moved things I didn’t use everyday to some decorative storage bins.  I fixed the broken shelf and folded the towels.  Each small thing you do to improve an environment you’re not happy with is a step in the right direction.  Even if your environment problem seems too big to solve, try doing just one small thing that makes it a little bit better.  You wish it were sunnier in Washington?  TOO BAD – haha! But you can get a light therapy lamp, take vitamin D, plan vacations to sunnier climes, make sure you get outside every day, move heavy furniture away from your windows, get stronger lightbulbs, find things you love about the rain.  Appreciate and make the most of each blue sky!

Just beware of swimming in pools with no ladders!

What to Watch When You’re Depressed. (Or Just Sad):

Sometimes when you’re depressed, all you can do is sit there.  Moving is just. too. hard.  Well, while you’re sitting there, maybe watching something on the telly will distract you somewhat from your misery.  It’s worth a try, right?

Here are my recommendations:

Most importantly: Watch movies that you love or used to love.  Bring back that lovin’ feeling.

My personal happy/helpful movies:

  • Lord of the Rings – “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

    • I really, strongly identify with these movies (and books). Ordinary, non-conventional heroes (THAT’S ME!) have to do all this impossible-seeming stuff, go on a long, difficult, draining, physically and psychologically exhausting journey to a dark and horrible place. But there is a support network. And all they come back in some way or another. It is possible!  If they can do it, maybe so can I? Maybe?
    • “There and back again” – I have a framed print that says this that hangs in my room reminding me that, like Frodo and Sam, I CAN make it to Mt. Doom. And then I can even make it back home. Things will be different, but the quest to vanquish the evil thing that has taken me over does have an end.  This is where I got the name for this blog.
    • “There is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.” ‘Nuff said.
    • BONUS: It’s really long, so if you feel like you can’t get up off the couch for a long period of time, that’s fine . . . you’re just having a movie marathon experience. Not moving turns into something you are doing on purpose to immerse yourself in the story, yeah, that’s it!

  • Into the Woods – “The prettier the flower, the farther from the path.”

    • Basically a giant metaphor for going through dark, scary, uncertain times and getting through it. “Everything you learn there will help when you return there.”
    • Also, freaking hilarious. How did Stephen Sondheim create such a roller coaster of emotions!?  I’m laughing out loud, then sobbing hysterically.  And it’s all relevant on so many different levels.
    • “Into the woods,
      It’s time to go,
      It may be all
      In vain, you/I know.
      Into the woods-
      But even so,
      I have to take the journey.
      Into the woods,
      Without delay,
      But careful not
      To lose the way.
      Into the woods,
      Who knows what may
      Be lurking on the journey?
      Into the woods
      To get the thing
      That makes it worth
      The journeying.”
    • Remember, NO ONE IS ALONE:

  • Howl’s Moving Castle – “They say that the best blaze burns brightest when circumstances are at their worst.”

    • What do you do when you’re suddenly different than you used to be? Are you trapped in a seemingly unsolvable or frustrating situation?  Do you feel like you’re weird and different and don’t fit in?  Need a change in environment and/or scenery? Do you feel out of sync with your identity and/or appearance?  Does your outside not match your inside?
    • IT’S JUST BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL.

  • Pride and Prejudice/Sense and Sensibility – any version – “Completely and perfectly and incandescently happy.”

    • Just take me away from this time and place where everything is horrible and bring me to the land of gentle pastels, sweeping gowns, long walks in the rain, and refined, yet sassy characters. Give me some sweet distance with a side of silliness, where the problems of the heroines are poignantly real and relatable even though they’re totally not relatable.

  • Silver Linings Playbook – “I like that. Just like all the other parts of myself.”

    • Hey, look – a movie about mental illness that isn’t dumb/condescending/a caricature. It’s real and many people struggle with it. It’s accurate, normalizing and relatable.

Whatever you watched as a child/young adult is often a good choice, because it can transport you back to a time when you were happier and not as worried.

  • Harry Potter – “Don’t let the muggles get you down.”

  • Mulan, Tangled, Anastasia, (and other Disney/animated features) – “A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.”

    • Again, brings you back to a simpler, happier place. Let’s get down to business… (you can finish the rest).
    • Be careful with your selections though. Maybe fast forward through that Lion King stampede scene?  And any time any characters parents die, really, which, let’s face it, is ALL THE FREAKING TIME (if they’re not dead already).

My happy/helpful T.V. shows:

  • BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER – “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.”

    • GUYS! EVERYTHING IS JUST ONE GIANT METAPHOR FOR EVERYTHING!!!
    • Only have time for one episode? WATCH THE MUSICAL!  Season 6, episode 7: “Once More, With Feeling.”  “I touch the fire and it freezes me.  I look into it and it’s black. Why can’t I feel? My skin should crack and peel.  I want the fire back!”  Tell me that’s not about depression.
    • Only have time for one scene? THIS ONE:
      • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmLSjwam26E
      • “Every single night, the same arrangement,
        I go out and fight the fight. 
        Still I always feel this strange estrangement, 
        Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.
        …Will I stay this way forever?
        Sleepwalk through my life’s endeavor?
        …I don’t want to be
        Going through the motions,
        Losing all my drive.
        I can’t even see,
        If this is really me,
        And I just wanna be alive.”

  • Better Off Ted – “I wish I had the power to make everyone go away.”

    • So delightfully and ridiculously funny – Thank you, Netflix!

  • Parks and Recreation – “Everything hurts and I’m dying.” “I’m fine. It’ just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I’m always tired.” “I don’t want to do things.  I want to NOT do things.” “Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.” “Treat yo’ self.” “Never half-ass two things.  Whole-ass one thing.”  “My whole life is a giant mess and I love it.”

    • Every single episode is funny. It’s optimistic but realistic.  I feel like I relate to almost EVERY character. Perfect for extracting a laugh when you didn’t know you even had one left in there.  Short and sweet and easy to fit into your schedule.

*A note about sad movie-watching – I recommend mostly happy movies, but an occasional sad movie can be cleansing and helpful in its own way.  For example – if you feel guilt or shame about crying about your own problems, it can be a way to channel those tears so they can be expressed and not built up.  Try more gentle tear-jerkers like “Titanic” rather than THERE IS NO BRIGHT SPOT ANYWHERE movies like “Schindler’s List.”