How To Get Sh*t Done When Your Cat Is Obsessed With You

How To Get SH*T Done When Your Cat Is Obsessed With You


YOU CAN’T.

But there are a few strategies you can try.


My cat, Brisco, is totally obsessed with me. He always wants to hang out. He’s constantly following me wherever I go. He never leaves me alone!

If he was a person, he would be a creepy stalker cutting my face out of photographs.

Well I guess I can never get up again…..
#1 fan in the Emerald Fan Club.

Can’t really blame him – I am pretty awesome.  But it does make it difficult to accomplish anything when he is always up in my bidness.

Things that DON’T work:

  • Attempting to reason with cat.
  • Politely asking cat to respect your alone time.
  • Informing cat you think you should see other people/cats.
  • Shouting , “God dammit, Brisco you little fucking fuck, stop trying to fucking kill!!”

A loverly compilation of Brisco preventing me from getting stuff done by trying to play board games, refusing to let me put on my shoes, generally just attacking or sitting on the things I need to use, and, of course, chilling in a tambourine (’cause no better place to chill).

So here are my strategies for tricking him into leaving me alone:

  • Multitasking
    • The main method to getting anything done with Brisco in the room is to always be multitasking and moving. That way, when he comes and gets comfortable on whatever project you’re currently working on, you just move on to the next project! Then you will have at least two minutes of uninterrupted time to work on THAT project before he decides you’re not coming back and comes to sit on the current project!
    • However, keep in mind that although it is a benefit to have the projects all near each other for your convenience, it also shortens the amount of time it will take Brisco to find you and attack your next project.
    • But I guess if they’re all far apart, you will also get a stellar workout!
  • Avoidance
    • Wait until said cat is napping or conspicuously absent to partake in his outdoor adventuring time, then go hard on getting as much done as possible before he returns to jump on your project OR your face OR both. Prioritize things that take up a lot of space, take a lot of focus or attention to detail, are delicate/fragile, or involve scissors, paper, or especially ribbons!
    • This presents its own set of hazards, especially if you get really into whatever you’re doing and tend to focus so hard you don’t pay attention to your surroundings and what is going on around you. For that is when he shall sneak attack pounce!!!!!! He does love demanding attention.
  • Diversion
    • This works best for fairly simple or short-term tasks.
    • Distract with:
      • Food. If he hasn’t eaten a thousand times today. This will be extremely effective in obtaining your alone time, but only for exactly as long as it takes your cat to finish eating.
      • Toys. This is most helpful for things where you still have an available hand to use the laser pointer/ribbon/whatever cat toy works best. Great for getting your cat away from the television, the food you’re eating, your book, etc.
  • Negative Reinforcement – last resort
    • Spray bottles (in cases of emergency) are reliable deterrents.
    • I don’t like using the spray bottle too often because he is actually incredibly scared of it and I don’t want to punish him for loving me. 😉  He’s a cat.  He’s never going to stop cat-ing.  Also, he startles easily, and that combined with the fact that water is water sometimes results in disarray and chaos, especially if the project is involved or intricate in some way.

It really would be quite flattering if it wasn’t so annoying and inconvenient. So I try to focus on the gratefulness and minimize the grrrr arrgghh. He is pretty cute I guess….

#BFFs #CuddleBuddies #TotesAdorbs

I guess the benefits mostly outweigh the drawbacks…… (both of which you can read in this other post I wrote!

Pets: Joy VS Burden

⇑ You know what this episode of game of thrones
was missing…? definitely A big ol’ cat in my way.

#HousePetersonRemembers

I Suck at Meditating

But I still try to do it.

You know when I thought about the topic for this blog?

WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKING MEDITATING.


Right now, I’m primarily using this app called ‘Calm,’ which is not that bad.  The free features are perfect for a beginner like me to keep busy I mean CALM.   After a couple of weeks, I decided to actually pay(!?!?) for the whole app, and I’m surprisingly glad I did.  There are  meditations for everything.  And for each category, you can choose what length of time works best for you.

My favorite feature is the sleep stories.  They’ re just someone reading a story in a soothing voice.  Sometimes it’s super boring.  Sometimes it’s a metaphor.  Whatever.  They’re great.  There’s one non-fiction one that I have never been able to stay awake through!  And there’s one fiction one about how cats basically came from dragons! LOVED IT!

Here’s some more information about meditation!

Meditation 101:
http://aboutmeditation.com/beginners-guide-to-meditation-tips-benefits-techniques/
More about meditation:
http://www.aboutmeditation.org/
If Ron Swanson can meditate, so can I.
Ron Swanson Meditates

From Chai Tea to Tai Chi

Chai Tea in the Mornings:

Chai tea in the mornings is a particular treat.  I like to have chai tea on the mornings when I have the time to just sit comfortably and relax.  Coffee is for mornings where I’m in a hurry and breakfast is synonymous with multi-tasking.  But chai tea days are those special and cherished leisurely mornings where you can breathe deeply, eat slowly, and appreciate your surroundings.  More days should be chai tea days. It’s caffeine – it’s energy, but still it somehow relaxes me while simultaneously preparing and motivating me to be productive without emphatically worrying about being productive.

Chai Tea Health Benefits:

http://www.chai-tea.org/benefits.html

All sorts of yummy teas:

http://www.teavana.com/us/en/tea/chai-tea

The BEST chai tea latte I’ve ever had was at Craft 19 in downtown Sumner.  Also, they have perfectly scrumtrulescent crepes.

http://www.craft19coffee.com/

Tai Chi in the Evenings:

A while back, I took a tai chi class through Pierce College continuing education.  It was in the morning.  On Saturdays.  While I really enjoyed it, I sadly did not attend every class.  It was in the morning. On Saturdays. ugh.

However, on the days that I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and participated, I found the class to be really relaxing and fun. I liked the explanations of the patterned movements, and the fact that everything meant something.  The practice required just enough focus to feel like meditation, while not so much brainpower was needed to make it overwhelming and exhausting.  It was challenging, but not overly so. It was, surprisingly harder than I thought it would be – requiring strong, steady, slow, and, to an extent, precise muscle movement is not as easy as it looks! But still, it made me feel solid and strong as well as surprisingly graceful.  Even though we were all beginners, when we started to get used to the pattern, and were executing the movements in sync, it was fun to feel like a part of something bigger – like our energies were all working together to make something beautiful and meaningful.

But, for me, Tai Chi is a practice more easily initiated in the evening.  Mornings are hard for me already, as an impatient insomniac, so I feel like that likely detracted significantly from my enjoyment and motivation.  In the evenings, when preparing for bed, Tai Chi can help slow the racing thoughts by slowing the body and having something on which to focus – it’s a peaceful strengthening routine that prepares my body for a more efficient resting of the mind and body.  So for me, the best way to appreciate and benefit from this calming and centering exercise, is to practice Tai Chi in the evenings.

Want to know more about Tai Chi? Here’s a beginner’s guide:

http://www.beginnerstaichi.com/what-is-tai-chi-for-beginners.html

I also found this video to be helpful!

No, I never took chai tea to my tai chi class.