Music Monday: The Middle

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World

Listen to the song here:

Lyrics:

“Hey, don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away.

It just takes some time,
Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright, alright.

Hey, you know they’re all the same.
You know you’re doing better on your own (on your own), so don’t buy in.
Live right now, yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn’t matter if it’s good enough (good enough) for someone else.

It just takes some time,
Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright, alright.
It just takes some time,
Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright, alright.

Hey, don’t write yourself off yet.
It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just do your best (just do your best), do everything you can (do everything you can).
And don’t you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.

It just takes some time,
Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright, alright.
It just takes some time,
Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright.”

Why this song’s so cool:  I like how it gently reminds you that often what you are feeling is about your own perception. You can’t control what other people do or think about you, but you can control what you do and think about yourself, and that is what is more important anyway.  It’s about having a positive attitude, but not only that, just hanging on until you get to the point where you CAN have a positive attitude, because that day WILL come.   Also, it’s totally okay to be different! Plus it’s got a good beat that is fun to head-bang and angry-sing to.

Why this song’s helpful: It has a simple, supportive and encouraging message that is easy to relate to. It reminds me of that strategy when you’re freaking out about something  and you do the five year rule gauge to ask yourself: “Will it matter in 5 years?”  If the answer is NO, and it usually is, then it’s probably not as important as you thought.


More about the five year gauge:

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/5-year-rule

More about Jimmy Eat World :

http://www.jimmyeatworld.com

Song Facts:

http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=2720

From Wrathroom Bathroom to Bestroom Restroom

My bathroom hath gloom NO MORE!

I gave my bathroom a makeover and I like rhymes.

Your environment has an affect on your overall mood, so if you are often in an environment you find dirty, ugly, uncomfortable or in any other way unpleasant or off-putting, then your mood will definitely be negatively affected!  You can end up feeling grim, nauseated, gross, and downright disgruntled as the yucky environmental factors slowly leech away your precious good mood. Just like in the Sims if there’s a mess everywhere, they are saaaaaad. 🙁 🙁 🙁

So I realized that I hated going in my bathroom.  With a boring shower curtain of questionable age and cleanliness, showertime was dreaded.  There wasn’t anything personal or any art on the walls (as we had removed all this when we were trying to sell the house).  There was accumulated unorganized clutter everywhere – it is a small bathroom with very limited counter space – like NONE at all.  Things were always falling everywhere.  And there was no place to keep towels, which was inconvenient and annoying. The shelf above the toilet was broken and unusable and the toilet itself was an unreliable flusher.  I was uncomfortable because there were no mats or anything on the floor, and my feet were always cold.  I often neglected personal hygiene – I didn’t want to be in there.  But, as a human being, I kind of have to use a bathroom at least some of the time.  And our other bathrooms were unavailable or inconvenient.  TIME FOR A BATHROOM MAAAAAAAKEOVER!!

awwwww… “Happiness looks gorgeous on me!!?” why thank you, dolphin of happiness!!
Self-care is not selfish

I did do some shopping, but mostly the transformation was about cleaning, de-cluttering, and rearranging.  I went to Ross dress for less and got a beautiful new shower curtain and brightly colored floor mat!  The hardware store provided new knobs for the ugly stainless steel ones.  Then I did a LOT of cleaning.  And I had a big box to get rid of full of unused products, redundancies, things I didn’t need to use every day, etc.  I took everything out and started fresh.  I put everyday use items within easy reach.  Pretty things migrated to visible places. While I took a lot of stuff out, I did add some stuff back in.  Since there wasn’t a first aid kit on the little shelf anymore, I had a place to put towels!  I moved in some candles and art and other things that I thought were pretty and brought me joy!  The shelf got fixed, the toilet got fixed, the negative environment got fixed.  And now my bathroom is a cheerful and inspiring place!  Well… about as cheerful and inspiring as a bathroom really can be…

It’s starting to get a little cluttered with use again…

I guess I should go head back in!  I need to view the loo, clean the latrine, make the crapper dapper!  In short, if you need to find me… I guess I’ll just be hanging out in my own personal wiz palace, AKA Wizzingham Manor.

 

It’s just soooo soft and pwetty! https://society6.com/product/really-mermaid-funky_bath-mat#s6-4073467p55a203v508

Music Monday: Dickhead

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “Dickhead” by Kate Nash.

Listen to the song here:

Lyrics:

“Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why are you being a dickhead for
You’re just fucking up situations

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why are you being a dickhead for
You’re just fucking up situations

Shiny floor, slippery feet
Lights are dim, my eyes can’t meet
The reflection that turns my images
Upside down so I can’t see

Think you know everything
You really don’t know nothing
I wish that you were more intelligent
So you could see that what you are doing
Is so shitty, to me

Thirty five
People couldn’t count
On two hands the amount of times you made me stop
Stop and think why are you being such a dickhead for

Stop being a dickhead,
Why are you being a dickhead for
You’re just fucking up situations
Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead,
Why you being a dickhead for
You’re just fucking up situations

Stop, now don’t show
Just have a think before you
Will you, stop, now don’t show
Just have a think before you

Will you stop, no don’t show
Just have a think before you
Will you stop, don’t show
Will you just have a think before you

My brain and my bones don’t want to take, this anymore
No my brain and my bones don’t want to take, this anymore
No my brain and my bones don’t want to take with this anymore
No my brain and my bones don’t want to take, this anymore, so

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why are you being a dickhead for
You’re just fucking up situations

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why you being a dickhead for
You’re just fucking up situations”

Why this song’s so cool:  Sometimes I get sad and just don’t understand why people do such dumb, shitty stuff and act like such… well… DICKHEADS! So it’s nice to know that someone else shares my confusion and frustration.

Why this song’s helpful: This song plays in my head whenever I think someone is being a stupid and hurtful dickhead.  This song plays in my head whenever I witness someone doing stuff without thinking and consequently hurting themselves and/or others.

STOP BEING A DICKHEAD!  STOP FUCKING UP SITUATIONS!

More about Kate Nash here:

http://www.katenash.com/

Therapy is Great!/Therapy is the Worst!

  • UGH talking to people – YUCK.

Especially about very personal things … crazy hard for a lot of people (including me.)  But, I’ve seen my counselor for many years.  Even when I didn’t feel like it was helping, it helped a little by making me feel like at least I was doing SOMETHING.  It’s very helpful to get the perspective of someone outside the immediate situation.  And explaining details about your life and experiences and feelings helps you solidify and understand yourself more. And it gets you out of the house at least once a week.

+1 to social interaction.

Pets: Joy VS Burden

You know what apparently helps people with depression and anxiety?

Having a cat. Or dog, or hamster, or whatever.  Something you can cuddle preferably, that is reliant on you, loves you unconditionally, and you think is totes adorbs.

Therapy animals are real, people.  This is the reason I adopted my cat, Brisco (Yes, he is named for Brisco County, Jr.) This is a tough one though, because there is definitely a balance that needs to be struck.  Ultimately, Brisco does help more than he hinders, but there have definitely been times when I wished I didn’t have him.  As with any creature, he can be annoying, persistent, in the way, etc.

derp

He meows at doors at night, knocks things over, gets in the way, tries to trip you, randomly jumps on your face, tries to eat your toes, attacks anything that moves, scratches you up, and will not let you read in peace!  OMG RIGHT NOW he thinks a great place to sit is directly in front of this computer screen!  So in the darkest time, sometimes a pet can be a definite added stressor and source of frustration/annoyance/helplessness.  That said, I am so grateful to have him in my life.  As I gain back more and more positivity, little by little, I see and feel the benefits.  He’s a non-judgmental listener.  He’s a distraction from my problems.  He is obsessed with me and always wants to be with me.  That’s pretty flattering and good for self-esteem.

 


6 Ways Pets Relieve Depression:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/19/6-ways-pets-relieve-depression/
Pets for Depression and Health:
http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/pets-depression#1
Depression, Anxiety and Pets
https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/depression-anxiety-and-pets/
Awwww who can resist dat face… <3

Sunshine Superman

Going outside in the sun is great! (if you can find it and get there)

Vitamin D deficiency is actually pretty common (especially here in the Pacific Northwest), and can make you feel crappy and tired.

http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/vitamin-d-deficiency#1

http://www.healthline.com/health/vitamin-d-deficiency#overview1

Ideally, you could take advantage of the sun when it’s out, participating in fun, outdoor activities like hiking and picnics and frolicking and having adventures with your friends and loved ones!

However, when you can’t leave the house and don’t want to interact with people, but you know that vitamin D is good for you, just go somewhere as private as possible that is in the sun.   If you don’t feel able to make your way to some special nook in your favorite local park, take advantage of your yard (preferably the back yard).  A friend or neighbor’s yard will work too!  I usually sneak out around back and hide in the corner of the yard where no neighbors can see me.  Sometimes I bring a pillow and soothing cool beverage, and if I’m ambitious, a book.

Just don’t forget the sunblock.

From Chai Tea to Tai Chi

Chai Tea in the Mornings:

Chai tea in the mornings is a particular treat.  I like to have chai tea on the mornings when I have the time to just sit comfortably and relax.  Coffee is for mornings where I’m in a hurry and breakfast is synonymous with multi-tasking.  But chai tea days are those special and cherished leisurely mornings where you can breathe deeply, eat slowly, and appreciate your surroundings.  More days should be chai tea days. It’s caffeine – it’s energy, but still it somehow relaxes me while simultaneously preparing and motivating me to be productive without emphatically worrying about being productive.

Chai Tea Health Benefits:

http://www.chai-tea.org/benefits.html

All sorts of yummy teas:

http://www.teavana.com/us/en/tea/chai-tea

The BEST chai tea latte I’ve ever had was at Craft 19 in downtown Sumner.  Also, they have perfectly scrumtrulescent crepes.

http://www.craft19coffee.com/

Tai Chi in the Evenings:

A while back, I took a tai chi class through Pierce College continuing education.  It was in the morning.  On Saturdays.  While I really enjoyed it, I sadly did not attend every class.  It was in the morning. On Saturdays. ugh.

However, on the days that I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and participated, I found the class to be really relaxing and fun. I liked the explanations of the patterned movements, and the fact that everything meant something.  The practice required just enough focus to feel like meditation, while not so much brainpower was needed to make it overwhelming and exhausting.  It was challenging, but not overly so. It was, surprisingly harder than I thought it would be – requiring strong, steady, slow, and, to an extent, precise muscle movement is not as easy as it looks! But still, it made me feel solid and strong as well as surprisingly graceful.  Even though we were all beginners, when we started to get used to the pattern, and were executing the movements in sync, it was fun to feel like a part of something bigger – like our energies were all working together to make something beautiful and meaningful.

But, for me, Tai Chi is a practice more easily initiated in the evening.  Mornings are hard for me already, as an impatient insomniac, so I feel like that likely detracted significantly from my enjoyment and motivation.  In the evenings, when preparing for bed, Tai Chi can help slow the racing thoughts by slowing the body and having something on which to focus – it’s a peaceful strengthening routine that prepares my body for a more efficient resting of the mind and body.  So for me, the best way to appreciate and benefit from this calming and centering exercise, is to practice Tai Chi in the evenings.

Want to know more about Tai Chi? Here’s a beginner’s guide:

http://www.beginnerstaichi.com/what-is-tai-chi-for-beginners.html

I also found this video to be helpful!

No, I never took chai tea to my tai chi class.

It’s Simpler To Be a Sim

Pretending to be a sim is a great way to assess your mood when you feel like crap, but are having a hard time figuring out why. You know those needs bars in the game the Sims?  When you get really overwhelmed, think of those and how you would deal with them in the Sims.  You evaluate where you are in each category – are you in the green?  Or is the bar red with that arrow to the left?  Identify the problem areas and fix them in order of easiest-hardest.

S – Self-scan :

Think of each need category and assess your level.  It helps to ask yourself questions more like; “When did I last eat” rather than, “Am I hungry.”  Sometimes you don’t know why you feel the way you feel, or what needs the most attention.

I – Itemize improvements:

Think of how you can fix each problem area and then organize your plans to get back in the green in a way that makes sense to you.  Usually that’s easiest to hardest, but sometimes you start with the category that is the MOST RED.  Sure, you might be in the kitchen with a snack on your way to your mouth, but if you’re about to pee your pants, do that first. (please).

M – Manage momentum:

I guess that’s a fancy way of saying just do it.

  • Bladder
    • Easiest fix. GO POTTY!
  • Hunger
    • Eat something. Too hard to decide or to make something? Fruit and string cheese are my go-tos.  Just stick it in your mouth.  It’s also handy to prepare by stocking up on super easy meals for hunger emergencies.  My emergency meal is Yakitori chicken and fried rice from Costco.  It’s yummy, hot, and takes three minutes in the microwave.
yummmmmmmm
  • Hygiene
    • Take a shower – you stink! Too hard to stand up? Sit down in the shower.  No rule says you can’t.  (I call it a shather). Or take a bath.  Still too much work?  Wash your face.  Brush your teeth or hair.  Invest in those make-up removal wipes for when even that is too hard. Been wearing the same clothes for three days? Change ’em!
  •  Energy
  • Fun
    • Do something you have fun (or used to have fun doing).  See a movie, hang out with friends, play laser tag. If you’re thinking, “Ugh… FUN. What even is that?”  Just take baby steps. Youtube ‘unlikely animal friendships,’ or ‘kitten derp.’ Play your favorite cheerful song.  Just take three minutes and listen to it. Or if you feel able and spritely, move your body WHILE you listen to it! Dance parties are high energy, but you can handle it for ONE song maybe, right?  It might be helpful to make a note whenever something you do makes you even a little happy.  Then you can refer to it when your fun meter is especially low.
      • This is one that helps me:
  • Social
    • Yeah, yeah interact with someone.  (This is especially tough if you are an introvert, like I am.) You may hate the idea of it, but your hate will probably lessen if you are actually doing something with someone else.  Hang out with friends, go to an event, talk to someone for just 5 minutes.  You don’t really want to see any of your friends?  Okay, just leave the house and have a random positive interaction with someone – anyone.   The best way to do this is with someone in customer service – it is LITERALLY part of their job to try to connect and be nice to you.  Go grab a coffee and remember to smile at your barista and say hello, please, and thank you.  If that’s too long of an interaction, then try complimenting someone on something.  It doesn’t really matter what (well, don’t be offensive).  You don’t even have to particularly believe it.  As you’re passing a stranger, just pick something about them, and then say you like it.  Like, “Hey – cute shoes!” It takes three words.  Two if you leave out, “hey.” Minimal effort, you make someone else feel good, which will in turn make you feel good, and LOOK you had a social interaction! Congratulations!  Your bar is moving towards the green! If even leaving the house is unthinkable, invite someone over.  Specify that you might be in your pajamas. Can’t even bear the thought of being in the company of another human? Cuddle up to your pet or hug a stuffed animal.  Reach out to people you care about via facebook, email, chat, whatever.  Send someone a text letting them know you’re thinking about them.  Even something that small can cheer you up. Try not to neglect your important relationships.
  • Comfort
    • Here’s where naps can come in handy yet again. Find your softest blanket and warmest slippers and snuggle on the couch with some mac & cheese and your favorite book.  Pretend you’re a human burrito.  Take a hot bubble bath and use that special body wash.   Treat yo’ self to a mini-spa experience!  If you’re like me (and many other ladies), you have mysteriously accumulated a ton of miscellaneous body lotion.  Get rid of it – slather it on your body.  Paint your nails while watching a silly rom-com.  IDK… what comforts YOU? Do THAT.
      • *but be careful with eating TOO much food, or relying as food as your primary comfort tool.  This can often backfire and make you feel worse, guilty, and bloated.  After you eat some comfort food, and you find yourself wanting more, try to ask yourself, “Am I hungry?” Then wait 20 minutes before getting more.
  • Environment
    • Where are you?  Or where do you go often?  Is it pretty? Calming? Comforting? Or…is it a source of anxiety, annoyance, and distress?  Make some changes. Ok, so you can’t afford to move to a better apartment or quit your job.  But you can move furniture, clean, paint walls, and declutter! Can you spruce up your office space in any way?  Add a cheerful plant or cozy seat cushion? What can you do?  LOTS! But… Baby steps again. Think about what specifically you don’t like about your environment and start there.  Start small.  For example, my bathroom had looked the same since we moved here, and I was tired of it.  I didn’t want to go in there.  To me, it was just a boring reminder of how stupid the past was. It was uncomfortable, crowded, and boring.  I thought the shower curtain was ugly.  So I bought a new shower curtain.  I changed those cabinet knobs that I hated – from functional and boring to FUNctional and pretty! I even bought a special, very soft bath mat because I hated stepping on the cold tiles!   (It was THIS and I LOVE IT! SO SQUISHY AND BEAUTIFUL!) But you don’t have to spend money to change your environment – use what you have! I hung up art that was cheerful and fun.  I got rid of clutter and moved things I didn’t use everyday to some decorative storage bins.  I fixed the broken shelf and folded the towels.  Each small thing you do to improve an environment you’re not happy with is a step in the right direction.  Even if your environment problem seems too big to solve, try doing just one small thing that makes it a little bit better.  You wish it were sunnier in Washington?  TOO BAD – haha! But you can get a light therapy lamp, take vitamin D, plan vacations to sunnier climes, make sure you get outside every day, move heavy furniture away from your windows, get stronger lightbulbs, find things you love about the rain.  Appreciate and make the most of each blue sky!

Just beware of swimming in pools with no ladders!

Music Monday: Dark, Dark Eyes

Music Monday!

Music can be a great source of comfort and inspiration when you’re feeling down.

Today’s song is: “Dark, dark eyes” by Marian Call.

“You don’t know how lovely you are
Sweet sweet soul with dark dark eyes
Head to heel beautifully marred
Sweet sweet soul, forgive my surprise

I know you see right through me
But please don’t look away
I’ll comfort you if you’ll cling to me
We’ll cry and we’ll wait for the day

Oh, I wish you could see what I see
My sweet sweet soul
Dark dark eyes

You don’t know how dangerous you are
Sweet sweet soul with small, small hands
I’d tell you the truth, but it’s hard
Sweet sweet soul, you don’t comprehend

But I’ll sing you every known love song
Until you can sleep through the night
I’ll stay by your side if you’ll have me, love
I’ll hold you until you don’t fight

Oh, I wish you could see what I see
My sweet sweet soul
Dark dark eyes”

Why this song’s so cool:  Marian Call is a nerdy folk singer/songwriter, and she actually has a whole album just dedicated to the T.V. show FIREFLY, which is awesome!  This particular song is usually interpreted to be about River Tam.

Why this song’s helpful: Sometimes you can’t see things clearly when you’re tired or stressed or overwhelmingly sad.  Your perception of yourself and the situation become warped.  This song can remind you that others may see you differently and have a unique perspective that can be helpful to comfort you and get through your problems.  It reminds you that sometimes all you can do is hold on and weather the storm until a new day begins.   It also lets you know that your struggles are a part of what makes you who you are, and that can be beautiful and appreciated.  Also the music itself is just really soothing and calming.

Listen to the song here:

Here’s Marian Call’s website:

http://mariancall.com/

 

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